Stop Trying To Borrow Your Way Into Freedom

Published September 26, 2025
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About This Episode

Host Dave Ramsey and co-host Rachel Cruz take live calls from listeners about real-world money decisions, emphasizing living on less than you make and avoiding debt. Callers ask about using business credit cards for rewards, oversized mortgages, car loans, student loans, home renovations, retirement withdrawals for a lake property, luxury purchases, and family conflicts over parent PLUS loans. The hosts consistently steer people away from borrowing, urge them to make mathematically sound choices, and highlight how character, communication, and boundaries in relationships intersect with money.

Topics Covered

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Quick Takeaways

  • Chasing small credit card rewards is insignificant compared to focusing your energy on growing a profitable business or career.
  • Carrying a mortgage payment around 40% of take-home pay leaves families house poor and severely limits their ability to build wealth.
  • A flashy car or toy can delay key life steps like moving out or investing for the future if it consumes too much of your income and savings.
  • Parent PLUS and similar arrangements often damage parent-child relationships when expectations about repayment are not clear, realistic, and in writing.
  • Couples who aggressively attack debt together, communicate often, and are willing to sacrifice time and convenience can erase six-figure debts in just a couple of years.
  • Withdrawing large sums from retirement accounts for lifestyle purchases should only be considered when you already have significant assets and strong ongoing income.
  • Buying or holding property in your name while someone else controls it and makes the payments is highly risky and often ends in nonpayment and foreclosure.
  • Adult children are not automatically morally obligated to financially rescue parents who have chronically ignored basic financial wisdom.

Podcast Notes

Introduction and overall money philosophy

Show opening and core message

Dave frames the show as a response to the idea that "normal is broken" and common sense with money is rare[0:11]
He introduces The Ramsey Show and co-host Rachel Cruz as a Ramsey personality, best-selling author, and his daughter[0:23]

Caller Cooper: Business cashback credit card vs focusing on profit

Cooper's situation: profitable landscaping business considering rewards card

Cooper runs a commercial landscaping and contracting business with projected revenue just over $1 million this year[0:44]
He estimates profit at about 25%, roughly $250,000 annually[1:24]
He and his team are debt-averse and currently operate with no debt, but he is considering a credit card that gives 2% cash back on business purchases[1:05]

Dave's argument against focusing on credit card rewards

On $100,000 of spending, 2% cash back yields $2,000, which Dave calls irrelevant compared to a $250,000 profit business[1:43]
He tells Cooper that his brain is powerful enough to create $250,000 in profit and shouldn't be wasted trying to optimize for $2,000 in rewards[2:21]
Dave frames the distraction as "working on the credit card business" instead of working on the real business that actually produces income[1:59]
He insists, "You don't beat Visa. You stay away from them," suggesting Cooper should focus on beating competitors and serving customers instead[2:15]

Rachel's perspective on spending psychology with cards

Rachel notes that research on consumers shows people spend more with credit cards because there's emotional detachment from the money[3:04]
She wonders aloud if the same psychological effect applies in business spending, like buying extra tools or equipment because of perceived rewards[3:22]
She gives examples of how business owners might justify extras: "I'll buy that extra tool" or "that extra piece of equipment" because of 2% back[3:22]

Discussion of points, airline miles, and annual fees

Dave says many people justify spending with the idea that they are getting airline miles and treats that as humorous[4:23]
He cites a statistic that 78% of airline miles are never redeemed, which he says makes the miles "useless" for most people[4:07]
Rachel says if you can't afford a vacation without using airline miles, you shouldn't be going on vacation[5:09]
Dave says he has never interviewed a millionaire who said airline miles were their breakthrough to wealth[5:18]
Rachel highlights the peace that comes from paying for things in the present and not thinking about future bills[5:43]
They criticize escalating annual fees on premium cards and sarcastically compare high fees to trivial perks like crackers in airport lounges[7:13]

Caller Andrew: Oversized mortgage and being house poor

Andrew's financial picture

Andrew and his wife recently bought a house where the mortgage is about 40% of their income[13:46]
They paid off all credit cards and their car and are now building an emergency fund[13:57]
He reports that $8,248 hits their account each month after taxes[15:27]
They both work for a garden supply store in organic gardening, and previously lived rent-free on-site until the owner sold the property[13:38]
When the property sold, they were forced to move and had trouble finding a rental, so they bought a house[16:20]

Dave's concern about their mortgage burden

Dave says he has "hardly seen anyone prosper" when their house payment is 40% of take-home pay, calling Andrew "house poor"[14:35]
He warns the large mortgage will stunt their financial growth over the next decade[15:00]
Dave raises concerns that Andrew is miscalculating income numbers, noting that $30/hour does not add up neatly to the $110,000 figure mentioned[16:57]
Rachel frames the choice as either changing careers to keep the house or losing the house to keep doing what they love[18:57]
Dave tells Andrew that unless their income increases dramatically soon, they likely need to sell the house because otherwise "the house owns you"[20:01]
He challenges the narrative that "there are no rentals" or "you can't live here for that price," suggesting those are often excuses tied to not liking certain neighborhoods[19:51]

Caller Philip: Keeping or selling a financed sports car while living at home

Philip's age, income, and car situation

Philip is 21, lives with his parents, and earns about $60,000 a year plus roughly $5,000 from side work[21:59]
He drives a 2023 bright blue Dodge Charger that he loves but hates paying for, with just over $20,000 remaining on the loan[22:20]
He bought the Charger after his prior car broke down shortly after starting his marketing/sales job and describes the purchase as irresponsible in hindsight[22:34]
He has about $14,000-15,000 in savings and says he is saving a lot of his income[25:02]

Options considered: sell vs pay off while at home

Philip is torn between selling the car to buy a rickety cheap car and become debt-free quickly, or keeping it and delaying moving out to pay it off[22:45]
He notes he is not desperate to move out immediately but wants flexibility to move out without the car being a barrier[23:06]
He reports offers of about $28,000 on private sites, which is near what he paid and above its current book value of $22,000-23,000[24:19]

Applying Ramsey baby steps and car rules

Dave references the baby steps: $1,000 starter emergency fund (step one) and paying off all non-mortgage debt (step two)[25:37]
Using that framework, Dave suggests Philip put $13,000 of his $14,000 savings toward the $20,000 car loan and then get debt-free within two months by tightening spending[26:01]
Rachel outlines the alternative of selling the Charger, buying an $8,000 car, remaining with $14,000 in savings, moving out, and advancing quickly to later baby steps[25:37]
They mention two car rules they use: pay off all debt, including the car, in under two years, and ensure your vehicles do not total more than half your annual income in value[27:29]

Emphasis on moving out and life-stage growth

Dave encourages Philip to be in his own apartment and debt-free by January, arguing that leaving his parents' house will trigger new levels of maturity and better decisions[28:17]
He predicts Philip's income will likely be higher five years after moving out, because of the growth that comes from total responsibility for his own life[28:47]
They joke about the Charger being "sweet" and acknowledge emotional attachment but refuse to let that override sound financial steps[26:57]

Caller Joe in Colorado: Massive student loans, legal costs, and preparing to move

Joe and his wife's debt and family stressors

Joe and his wife have paid off $135,000 of student loans in the first two years of marriage but still owe $235,000[45:03]
They stopped paying on the loans for about a year due to paying attorney fees related to Joe's daughter's biological father re-entering the picture after eight years[45:19]
Joe's husband is a recovering alcoholic, sober for eight years, and they are expecting a baby and planning to move[45:51]
They currently have no furniture and have been renting from family, adding to feelings of being overwhelmed[45:55]

Income and potential relocation

Her husband is a lawyer making about $100,000 but she believes he could make more elsewhere; she is a graphic designer making almost as much as he does[46:31]
They are considering moving to a city with better cost of living and higher lawyer income once he transfers his bar, potentially in February or March after the baby is born in December[47:14]

Guidance: Pause debt payoff and prioritize stability

Dave advises pausing aggressive debt payoff until after the move, the baby's birth, and any out-of-pocket medical costs are covered[49:19]
He tells them to tighten their budget, pile up cash for the move, then once settled and the baby and medical bills are handled, restart the baby steps[50:07]
He suggests defining two major goals after the dust settles: address the legal fight with the bio dad and attack the student loans (Sallie Mae)[49:53]

Dealing with guilt and communication around past mistakes

Joe says her husband feels very guilty about not paying on his student loans and about past behavior tied to his alcoholism[50:38]
She acknowledges her own guilt regarding the bio-dad situation and wants to rally together rather than stay stuck in shame[50:41]
Dave reminds her that she knowingly married into the situation, so she is not an innocent victim of surprise; they are a team facing this together[50:51]
Rachel emphasizes that net worth is not self-worth and that being in debt or having made bad money decisions does not define a person's identity[52:28]
They encourage continued conversations about money, and suggest marriage counseling if needed to get shared language and reduce conflict around budgeting[53:00]

Bible question: Are adult children obligated to financially support parents?

Dennis's question about 1 Timothy 5:8

Dennis cites 1 Timothy 5:8 about providing for relatives and household and asks how Dave's statement that children are not morally/ethically obligated to support parents fits with that verse[54:44]

Dave's interpretation of household and responsibility

Dave distinguishes "household" as spouse and children living under your roof, not your parents[55:34]
He says he never suggests that people refuse basic support like food for relatives in genuine need when behavior is reasonable[55:46]
Dave cites other scriptures emphasizing personal responsibility, diligence, and cause-and-effect (e.g., those who don't work shouldn't eat; sowing and reaping)[55:02]
He argues that many parents needing support are in that position because they ignored basic financial wisdom, and that this does not automatically create a moral demand on children to fund them in all circumstances[55:47]
He gives an example where he supports the idea of a financially successful child helping an 80-year-old parent with a few thousand dollars a month for food, and says he has never told such a caller not to help in that case[58:11]
He rejects the idea that the Bible guarantees parents can skip retirement planning because their kids are obligated to care for them, calling that false and not compassion[58:31]
Rachel notes many Americans can't even cover a $400 emergency, so in practice many adult children can't support their parents even if they feel obligated[59:31]
They stress that real love includes truth: planning for your own retirement so you are not a burden on your kids is loving and mature[1:00:49]

Caller Joe in Colorado: Using brokerage money for a bathroom vs mortgage

Joe's new house and financial assets

Joe and his wife bought a house in March, owe about $440,000 on the mortgage, and have no other debt[1:16:43]
They have about $85,000 in a brokerage account and also maintain a separate emergency fund[1:15:34]
Their household income is about $260,000, and they have a young child (1.5 years) with another on the way[1:18:35]

Competing goals: basement bathroom vs mortgage payoff/refi

His wife wants to use most of the brokerage account to add a bathroom to their finished basement so the kids can eventually spend time down there[1:16:43]
Joe prefers to either put the money toward the mortgage principal or refinance/recast the mortgage[1:17:10]
They are currently at a 7% rate; Dave estimates they could refinance into roughly 5.7% on a 15-year, saving about 1.3 percentage points[1:17:51]
They estimate the bathroom renovation at around $50,000, though they have not yet obtained contractor bids[1:19:22]

Recommendation: prioritize principal and plan to cash-flow the bathroom

Dave says if the $85,000 had originally been put down on the house, they would now simply have a smaller mortgage and would be saving for the bathroom from income[1:19:41]
He recommends effectively "undoing" the earlier choice by putting the $85,000 on the mortgage and then refinancing to a lower rate[1:19:15]
Rachel points out that they can cash-flow the bathroom in about a year out of a $260,000 income, especially since the kids won't need that basement bathroom for several years[1:18:35]
They suggest creating a detailed written budget together so his wife can see in concrete numbers how they will save $4,000 a month (for example) and reach the bathroom goal within a set timeframe[1:20:07]
Dave notes that when spouses don't see clearly how the money will be saved, they may cling to using a lump sum because they fear the remodel will never happen otherwise[1:20:07]

Caller Chris: Withdrawing from retirement to buy a lake property

Chris's retirement and assets

Chris is retiring at the end of the month at age 50 from the federal law enforcement retirement system and will receive a pension while taking a second job[1:16:11]
He has $1.4 million in his Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) and a home worth about $950,000 with $270,000 remaining on the mortgage[1:16:19]
He explains that under federal rules he can withdraw from the TSP penalty-free upon retirement, paying only taxes[1:16:40]

Planned withdrawal and lake property details

He and his wife are considering withdrawing $300,000 from the TSP to purchase a two-acre lakefront lot they have been eyeing, with plans to build later[1:17:12]
They envision cash-flowing development such as clearing the lot and putting in a dock over about five years, then potentially selling their current home to build a house on the lake lot[1:17:00]
Their projected household income combining his pension, his new job, and his wife's income is around $350,000[1:18:56]

Weighing pros and cons of using retirement funds

Dave notes that withdrawing $300,000 plus taxes represents more than 30% of the current retirement nest egg, but also acknowledges Chris has built a very strong position by age 50[1:18:22]
He points out that resort properties like beach, mountain, and lake homes are highly volatile, skyrocketing in good times and crashing in downturns[1:19:58]
Rachel asks whether there is something specific about this lake and this property, and Chris confirms the lake is specific and prices have already risen significantly[1:19:17]
Dave says he probably would go ahead with the purchase in Chris's situation, especially given their strong ongoing income and substantial retirement savings[1:19:17]
He encourages them to move faster on making the lot usable (e.g., clearing, dock) and to aim to use it sooner rather than delaying enjoyment for many years[1:20:20]

Caller Alexander: Considering a $30,000 Harley while overspending

Alexander's current finances and inheritance

Alexander is on baby step six, age not stated in the call, with a wife and two young kids, and wants to buy a 2025 Harley-Davidson at about $30,000 with upgrades[1:26:16]
He earns around $65,000 and his wife earns about $15,000, for a combined income near $80,000[1:26:46]
About two years earlier, they were gifted approximately $200,000 from his wife Sarah's grandmother's estate[1:26:46]
They owe about $250,000 on a $450,000 house and have roughly $210,000 in retirement accounts, $150,000 in a separate mutual fund, and about $80,000 in an emergency fund[1:27:55]
Despite the assets, they are spending about $1,000 a month more than they make and are drawing from savings to cover the gap[1:27:16]

Dave's critique of their spending and recommendation

Dave challenges Alexander on why he cannot live on $80,000, saying tithing and retirement contributions alone do not explain overspending[1:25:56]
He notes they are using inheritance in mutual funds and an oversized emergency fund while still carrying a mortgage, which signals misaligned priorities[1:28:23]
Dave says the mathematically sound move is to use the non-retirement lump sums to pay off the house and then learn to live within their income[1:28:20]
Because Alexander has not yet learned to live on less than he makes and is already overspending, Dave says bluntly, "No, I would not buy the motorcycle. You're too broke to do it."[1:27:59]

Caller Holly: Parent PLUS loans and a broken repayment agreement

How the parent loans for college were set up

Holly and her husband took out parent loans for their three daughters' college, with a verbal agreement that the daughters would repay the loans after graduation[1:31:09]
They had wanted the daughters to stay home and commute to save money, but the daughters wanted to go away to college, so the parents tied the debt to that decision[1:31:35]
Holly and her husband are both nurses who put themselves through school and expected their daughters to do likewise by repaying the parent loans[1:31:26]

Oldest daughter's refusal and estrangement

Holly reports that her eldest daughter is now refusing to pay the loans and has cut off communication, saying she doesn't care and that the debt is her parents' problem[1:32:16]
The two younger sisters are paying their portions as agreed, but the eldest is not[1:32:06]

Dave's assessment and recommended response

Dave tells Holly that legally the parents have no recourse because the loans are in their names; the daughter did not sign those loan documents[1:32:06]
He critiques the original arrangement, saying they effectively put their daughter in debt to them and called it a blessing, setting up future resentment[1:31:35]
He recommends that Holly call each daughter and say, "We made a mistake. We shouldn't have done this. We're going to pay all these loans. They're in our name. We hope you children have a great life," and resolve never to borrow money for someone else again[1:34:06]

Discussion: Student loans as a parenting problem

Sources of the student loan crisis

Dave notes that student loan debt in America totals around $1.8 trillion and calls the program an "epic failure" Congress started and has not stopped[1:34:00]
He blames higher education for massively inflating costs, citing examples like colleges building "lazy rivers" under dorms and passing costs on through high tuition and housing[1:34:45]
He also assigns blame to 18-year-olds who have never been told "no" and expect to attend any school they want regardless of cost[1:34:00]

Rachel's view: fundamentally a parenting issue

Rachel argues the crisis is, at its core, a parenting problem because adults should step in and guide teenagers away from harmful debt decisions[1:35:16]
She says it's negligence for parents to sit back while teens sign up for massive student loans without being taught the repercussions[1:36:21]
She promotes alternatives like community college, which is free in some states, and then transferring to a university for the last two years[1:35:45]

Parental backbone and refusing to finance bad decisions

Dave recounts a father who said his son told him he was going to an unaffordable college, and Dave contrasts that with his own approach, where he, not the child, decides how his money is used[1:36:21]
He says parents should tell kids, "You're going to a school we can all pay cash for" and refuse to co-sign or take out parent loans for schools they can't afford or don't agree with[1:36:21]
He insists there is zero chance he would ever recommend a parent PLUS loan or giving money to a child who insists on taking student loans for an overpriced school[1:36:21]
Dave notes that a child may still choose to go $150,000 into debt on their own, but parents can withhold emotional and financial support for that decision out of love, refusing to "endorse you bringing harm to yourself"[1:37:48]

Debt-free scream: Brad and Amanda's $130,000 payoff in 20 months

Their background and debt mix

Brad and Amanda from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, paid off $130,000 in 20 months[1:46:22]
Their income ranged from $170,000 down to $120,000 during that period because Amanda became mostly a stay-at-home mom after having a baby[1:46:59]
Most of their debt was student loans, plus a HELOC, a personal loan, and some smaller items; Amanda says they were "very normal"[1:47:15]

How they discovered the show and decided to change

Amanda found The Ramsey Show while "doom-scrolling" Instagram, saw a dramatic 10-second clip, and then watched eight hours of the show in one day[1:47:43]
She had never heard anyone talk about money the way Dave does and immediately told Brad that they should pay off all their debt and eventually come do a debt-free scream[1:46:32]
They first added up all their debts and were shocked to see $130,000; that "oh crap" moment made them realize they had to act[1:48:17]

Sacrifices, work hours, and having a baby mid-journey

The couple wanted to start a family and saw becoming financially secure as an important prerequisite[1:47:53]
Amanda, a nurse, worked two jobs six or seven days a week up to four days before delivering their baby, with OB clearance; she says coworkers thought she was crazy[1:48:49]
Brad notes the hardest part of the 20 months was not seeing each other because they were "passing ships in the night" due to all the hours worked[1:48:53]

Lifestyle changes and mental "friction"

They sold a paid-off eight-passenger Subaru and bought a 20-year-old van, putting a humorous sticker on the back that said, "Dave Ramsey makes me drive this"[1:49:09]
They removed credit cards and Amazon Prime, making it less convenient to spend, and Amanda says they were amazed by how much less they spent after eliminating credit cards[1:49:17]
Amanda describes their strategy as "adding friction to financial transactions" so spending money required more thought[1:49:46]
She adds that believing becoming debt-free was possible was crucial; seeing examples on the show convinced her they could do it too[1:49:36]

Outcome and benefits

They now have far fewer bills arriving by mail and enjoy the flexibility that came with getting out of debt, especially as new parents[1:50:21]
They affirm that the sacrifices were worth it, and that going through the process together strengthened their marriage through increased communication and teamwork[1:51:38]

Caller Trevor: Sub-to house deal gone bad and bankruptcy question

Trevor's house purchase and subject-to arrangement

Trevor bought a house during a period of rising prices and interest rates, paying more than he now thinks he should have[1:57:13]
He lost his job and struggled to sell the home because new builds with incentives made his listing uncompetitive[1:57:16]
On a realtor's advice, he entered into a "sub-two" contract: he remained fully responsible for the mortgage while another person moved in and agreed to make the payments and receive the house when it was paid off[1:57:29]
The occupant stopped making payments, and Trevor was served foreclosure papers on August 22; the occupant is still in the property and refuses to leave or sign it back over[1:58:12]

Current situation, income, and other stressors

Trevor and his wife together make about $80,000 a year ($40,000 each) and have six kids[1:57:21]
They moved to Puerto Rico for a new job that didn't work out, then moved back and are now living with in-laws while he is also in a custody and child support battle[1:58:12]
He is eight months behind on the mortgage, roughly $40,000 in arrears, and says the other party has hired a lawyer to challenge service procedures in the foreclosure[2:00:21]
Trevor is ashamed and wonders if he should file bankruptcy because he cannot see a way out and wants to move his family into their own place[1:57:41]

Dave's advice: avoid bankruptcy, get a lawyer, and stop jumping

Dave points out that bankruptcy also requires hiring a lawyer, so if Trevor has resources for that, he could instead use them to hire a lawyer to evict the non-paying occupant[2:00:21]
He suggests Trevor sell his gaming PC (worth perhaps $15,000 based on Trevor's estimate) to fund legal help to remove the scammer[2:00:31]
Dave notes that in Florida foreclosure typically takes a long time, and there is not yet a specific foreclosure sale date, so Trevor is not bankrupt "today"[1:59:46]
He emphasizes that bankruptcy is a last resort after all other options have been tried and says Trevor is "projecting" a future worst-case scenario rather than dealing with the present facts[2:00:48]
He criticizes the realtor's advice to do a subject-to deal as malpractice, saying such deals almost always end this way because only scammers agree to pay for 30 years on a house not in their name[2:01:49]
Dave observes a pattern of Trevor repeatedly "jumping"-into the house, out, to Puerto Rico, back-and says he needs to find something stable, keep his hand to the plow, and stop bouncing from crisis to crisis[2:01:49]
He outlines a sequence: hire a lawyer to evict the occupant, then work with a competent real estate agent to negotiate a short sale with the bank, and only consider bankruptcy if absolutely nothing else works[2:00:48]

Lessons Learned

Actionable insights and wisdom you can apply to your business, career, and personal life.

1

Optimizing for small perks like cashback and airline miles can distract you from the far larger gains that come from focusing your time and mental energy on building a profitable business or career.

Reflection Questions:

  • What low-dollar optimizations or "games" am I currently spending brainpower on that might be distracting me from bigger financial opportunities?
  • How could I reallocate the time I spend chasing small rewards into activities that measurably increase my income or profit?
  • What is one specific area of my work or business where a focused push over the next 90 days could produce returns far greater than any reward program?
2

Taking on payments that consume a large share of your income-especially housing-will leave you "house poor" and stall your ability to save, invest, and respond to life's surprises.

Reflection Questions:

  • When I look at my budget, which fixed payments are swallowing the biggest portion of my take-home pay?
  • How would my stress level and options change if my housing costs dropped to a much smaller percentage of my income?
  • What steps could I take over the next 12-24 months-raising income, reducing expenses, or downsizing-to get my largest payments back into a healthy range?
3

Cars, toys, and lifestyle upgrades should follow solid financial footing; when they are financed or oversized relative to your income, they delay key milestones like moving out, starting a family, or investing for the future.

Reflection Questions:

  • Which of my current or planned purchases are driven more by emotion or image than by long-term financial wisdom?
  • How might my next five years look different if I delayed a big discretionary purchase until I was debt-free or had hit a clear savings goal?
  • What is one high-cost item I could sell, downgrade, or postpone to accelerate my progress toward independence or flexibility?
4

Borrowing in your own name for someone else's benefit-whether for a child's education or to let someone "take over" your house payments-creates tangled obligations and often damages relationships.

Reflection Questions:

  • Where in my life am I currently on the hook for someone else's behavior or payments, and how did I get there?
  • How could I support people I care about in ways that don't require taking on legal or financial responsibility for their choices?
  • What boundaries do I need to set or reinforce so that future generosity doesn't come at the cost of my stability or relationships?
5

Intense, unified effort with a clear plan can erase enormous debts quickly and strengthen a relationship, but it requires shared goals, communication, and a willingness to sacrifice convenience for a season.

Reflection Questions:

  • What big financial goal could my partner and I accomplish in the next 12-24 months if we were truly aligned and willing to sacrifice together?
  • How well have we defined and agreed on our priorities, and where do we need clearer conversations about what we're aiming for?
  • What specific sacrifices-extra work, delayed purchases, tighter budgeting-are we willing to make for a set period in order to buy long-term freedom?

Episode Summary - Notes by Remy

Stop Trying To Borrow Your Way Into Freedom
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