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TED Talks Daily

TED Talks Daily Book Club: You are not alone in your loneliness | Jonny Sun (re-release)

with Johnny Sun

Published October 26, 2025
View Show Notes

About This Episode

Host Elise introduces a re-release of Johnny Sun's 2019 TED talk, framing it within a current TED Talks Daily virtual read-along of Oliver Berkman's book about embracing limitations and the feelings of loneliness that can surface when we sit with ourselves. In his illustrated talk, writer and artist Johnny Sun uses the story of an alien named Jomny and his own experiences of feeling alienated to explore how vulnerability, online sharing, and small moments of connection can make us feel less alone in our loneliness. He reflects on both the harms and the redemptive potential of social media, emphasizing the power of micro-communities and brief human connections as tiny slivers of light in a chaotic world.

Topics Covered

Loneliness Mental health Social isolation Relationships Personal Development Art and creativity Personal narrative Identity Social bonding User-generated content

Disclaimer: We provide independent summaries of podcasts and are not affiliated with or endorsed in any way by any podcast or creator. All podcast names and content are the property of their respective owners. The views and opinions expressed within the podcasts belong solely to the original hosts and guests and do not reflect the views or positions of Summapod.

Quick Takeaways

  • Johnny Sun created the character Jomny the alien as a way to explore his own feelings of alienation after moving to Cambridge and starting a doctoral program at MIT.
  • He found unexpected comfort in treating social media as a void to speak into, only to discover that the "void" was full of other people also wanting to be heard.
  • Seeing others discuss mental health and therapy openly online helped normalize those topics for him and encouraged him to seek therapy himself.
  • Sun argues that sharing imperfections, insecurities, and loneliness publicly can make others feel less alone, not by removing loneliness but by revealing that it is shared.
  • Small vulnerable posts and jokes online can spark brief but meaningful micro-communities where strangers support, comfort, and recognize one another.
  • He acknowledges that platforms are often designed in ways that enable harassment, misinformation, and hate, making the internet feel chaotic and harmful.
  • Despite the toxicity, he remains drawn to online spaces because of the vital, life-affirming human moments of connection they can still contain.
  • Sun likens logging onto social media during dark times to holding someone's hand at the end of the world, describing these tiny acts of connection as a sliver of light in the darkness.

Podcast Notes

Host introduction and framing of the episode

TED Talks Daily format and host greeting

Host states that this is TED Talks Daily and introduces herself as Elise Hume (also spelled later as Elise Hugh) and welcomes listeners on a Sunday episode.[3:05]

Connection to Oliver Berkman's book and virtual read-along

Elise explains that the episode is the final talk chosen to think about while reading TEDx speaker Oliver Berkman's book "Meditations for Mortals: four weeks to embrace your limitations and make time for what counts."[3:11]
She says they are reading the book because they are in the midst of their first-ever virtual read-along in the lead-up to a TED Talks Daily live book club conversation.[3:26]
The live book club conversation is scheduled for Tuesday, November 4th.[3:26]

Loneliness as a theme in Berkman's book

Elise summarizes that throughout his book, Oliver Berkman asks readers to sit with themselves.[3:11]
She notes that this kind of introspective work can definitely make people feel lonely.[3:35]

Introducing Johnny Sun's 2019 talk on loneliness

Why this particular talk was chosen

The loneliness that can arise from Berkman's invitation to sit with ourselves made the team think of a 2019 talk by Johnny Sun.[3:37]
Elise describes Johnny Sun as a screenwriter, author, and artist.[3:42]

Elise's description of the talk's message

She says that Johnny, alongside his signature illustrations, tells us we aren't actually alone even in our loneliness.[3:47]
He shares how being open and vulnerable in lonely moments and exploring the sadness and fear he felt led him to a sense of comfort.[3:55]
Elise connects this to Oliver Berkman's book by saying Oliver writes about the profound beauty that can come from embracing vulnerability, fears, and life's imperfections.[3:11]

Host's brief personal and social media notes

Elise mentions that listeners can follow her on Instagram at an account spelled out in the transcript and also find her on TED's Instagram.[4:10]
She says she will be sharing more thoughts like these leading up to the event on November 4th.[4:18]

Transition into Johnny Sun's talk

Elise notes that the book club conversation will be on November 4th with Oliver Berkman and briefly references a way to join, then pivots back to the main audio content.[3:26]
She introduces the talk by saying, "But for now, here's Johnny's gorgeous talk."[4:29]

Johnny Sun introduces Jomny and his own sense of alienation

Introducing the character Jomny

Johnny begins his talk with a simple greeting, "Hello."[4:29]
He introduces a character named Jomny and clarifies that this is "Johnny" spelled accidentally with an M.[4:43]
• He notes that the misspelling is "because we're not all perfect," using the detail to introduce the theme of imperfection.
Jomny is an alien sent to Earth with a mission to study humans.[4:53]
Johnny describes Jomny as feeling lost and alone and far from home.[4:54]
He suggests that most people have felt this way at some point, and explicitly states that he personally has.[4:59]

Autobiographical context for creating Jomny

Johnny says he wrote the story about this alien during a moment when he himself was feeling particularly alien.[5:04]
He had just moved to Cambridge and started his doctoral program at MIT.[5:10]
In that transition, he felt intimidated and isolated and very much like he didn't belong.[5:15]
He describes this creative work as a response to his own feelings of alienation.[5:02]

Writing jokes online as a lifeline

Johnny explains that he had been writing jokes for years and sharing them on social media.[5:24]
He found himself turning to this practice more and more during his feelings of alienation.[5:27]

Discovering comfort in the online "void"

The internet as perceived void vs. Johnny's experience

Johnny acknowledges that for many people, the internet can feel like a lonely place.[5:31]
He describes the common perception of the internet as a big, endless, expansive void where you can constantly call out but feel like no one is listening.[5:35]
He says he actually found comfort in speaking out to this void.[5:43]
By sharing his feelings with the void, he eventually experienced the void speaking back to him.[5:46]
He concludes that the void is not an endless, lonely expanse but is full of other people also staring into it and wanting to be heard.[5:57]

Social media as a confessional and space for mental health conversation

Acknowledging harms of social media alongside benefits

Johnny explicitly states that there have been many bad things that have come from social media and that he is not disputing that.[6:01]
He says that to be online at any given point is to feel so much sadness, anger, and violence.[6:06]
He describes being online as feeling like the end of the world.[6:13]
Yet he is conflicted because many of his closest friends are people he originally met online.[6:20]

The "confessional" nature of posting online

He observes that there is a confessional nature to social media.[6:23]
Posting can feel like writing in a personal, intimate diary that is completely private but that you paradoxically want everyone in the world to read.[6:32]
Johnny highlights the joy of experiencing perspectives from people who are completely different from oneself.[6:41]

How online talk normalized mental health and therapy for him

When he first joined Twitter, many of the people he followed talked about mental health and going to therapy.[6:47]
He notes that these conversations lacked the stigma that often surrounds such topics when discussed in person.[6:57]
Through those online conversations, mental health talk was normalized for him.[7:00]
He says those people helped him realize that going to therapy was something that would help him as well.[7:05]

The importance of sharing imperfections and vulnerabilities

The internet as a place to "not know" and to be imperfect

Johnny acknowledges that for many people, it sounds scary to talk about topics like mental health so publicly and openly online.[7:08]
He says many people think it is big and scary to be online if you are not already perfectly and fully formed.[7:24]
Contrasting that fear, he argues that the internet can be a great place to "not know."[7:27]
He sees value and even excitement in sharing imperfections, insecurities, and vulnerabilities with other people.[7:36]

Not being alone in loneliness

Johnny explains that when someone shares that they feel sad, afraid, or alone, it makes him feel less alone.[7:43]
He clarifies that this does not get rid of his loneliness but shows him he is not alone in feeling lonely.[7:54]

Artistic goal: making vulnerability communal

As a writer and artist, Johnny says he cares very much about making the comfort of being vulnerable a communal thing.[7:57]
He wants vulnerability to be something that people can share with each other, not just experience in isolation.[8:02]

Externalizing internal feelings in approachable forms

Johnny says he is excited about "externalizing the internal"-taking invisible personal feelings that he doesn't yet have words for.[8:06]
He describes holding these feelings up to the light, putting words to them, and sharing them with other people.[8:12]
He hopes that by sharing these articulated feelings, he can help others find words for their own feelings as well.[8:16]
He wants to put these emotional truths into small, approachable packages because such formats are easier to engage with.[8:27]
• He says smaller pieces can be more fun and can more easily help people see their shared humanness.
He notes that sometimes these packages take the form of a short story, or a cute book of illustrations.[8:40]
Other times, they take the form of a silly joke that he throws onto the internet.[8:44]

Examples of small, vulnerable posts and their impact

Dog-walking app idea as a humorous vulnerable post

Johnny shares that he posted an app idea for a dog-walking service in which a dog shows up at your door and you have to get out of the house and go for a walk.[8:47]
• This idea plays on the need for external motivation to leave the house and care for oneself.

Email anxiety and overexplaining "best"

He says he likes to share every time he feels anxious about sending an email.[9:04]
He jokes that when he signs his emails "best," it is short for "I am trying my best," which is short for "please don't hate me, I promise I'm trying my best."[9:07]
• This layered explanation humorously exposes his fear of being disliked and desire to be understood.

Reframing a classic icebreaker to confess loneliness

Johnny shares his answer to the classic icebreaker question, "If I could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, I would"-he finishes it with "I am very lonely."[9:14]
• The joke turns a standard question into an admission of loneliness, inviting others to laugh and possibly relate.

Pattern of reaction to vulnerable jokes

He observes that when he posts things like these online, the reaction is very similar each time.[9:27]
People come together briefly to share a laugh and a feeling, then disperse just as quickly.[9:33]
He notes that this leaves him once again alone, but he still sees value in these small gatherings.[9:42]

Online micro-communities and finding kindred spirits

Question about last conversations and resulting community

Johnny recounts that when he graduated from architecture school and moved to Cambridge, he posted the question: "How many people in your life have you already had your last conversation with?"[9:53]
He explains that he was thinking about friends who had moved to different cities and countries and how hard it would be to keep in touch.[9:58]
Other people replied with their own experiences, including someone who had a falling out with a family member and someone whose loved one had passed away quickly and unexpectedly.[10:13]
Another person shared about friends from school who had also moved away.[10:17]
Soon, people began replying not only to Johnny but also to each other.[10:24]
They comforted each other and encouraged one another to reach out to friends or family members they had not spoken to in a while.[10:37]
Johnny describes the resulting thread as a "little tiny micro-community," like a support group of people coming together.[10:45]

Possibility of micro-communities in every post

He suggests that every time we post online, there is a chance that such micro-communities can form.[10:49]

Ways of finding kindred spirits online

Sometimes, through the "muck" of the internet, you can find a kindred spirit.[10:57]
He notes that this can happen by reading replies and comments and finding one that is particularly kind, insightful, or funny.[11:07]
Another way is going to follow someone and seeing that they already follow you back.[11:10]
Sometimes you look at someone you know in real life, compare what each of you writes online, and realize you share many of the same interests.[11:16]
He says this realization can bring that person closer to you.[11:27]
He concludes this section by saying that sometimes, if you're lucky, you get to meet another alien.[11:28]

The darker side of the internet and platform design

Misunderstanding, conflict, and chaos online

Johnny admits he is worried because, as everyone knows, the internet mostly does not feel like a place of kind micro-communities.[11:39]
He says it often feels like a place where people misunderstand each other and come into conflict.[11:39]
He describes the internet as full of confusion, screaming, yelling, and shouting, with too much of everything.[11:51]
He characterizes this abundance of noise as chaos.[11:56]

Critique of how platforms are built

Johnny says he doesn't know how to reconcile the bad parts of the internet with the good ones, especially because the bad parts can really hurt people.[12:03]
He feels that the platforms used to inhabit online spaces have been designed, either ignorantly or willfully, to allow harassment and abuse.[12:14]
He adds that these platforms propagate misinformation.[12:19]
He states that they enable hatred, hate speech, and the violence that comes from them.[12:19]
Johnny says it feels like none of the current platforms are doing enough to address and fix these issues.[12:24]

Continued draw toward online spaces

Despite these concerns, he acknowledges that he is still drawn to online spaces, as many others are.[12:29]
He explains that it sometimes just feels like that is where all the people are.[12:35]
He admits that he sometimes feels silly or stupid for valuing small moments of human connection in times like these.[12:41]

Holding onto small human moments as a sliver of light

Why micro-moments of humanness matter

Johnny says he has always operated under the idea that little moments of humanness are not superfluous.[12:49]
He rejects the notion that these moments are retreats from the world.[12:57]
Instead, he believes they are the reasons why people come to online spaces in the first place.[12:57]
He calls these moments important and vital, saying they affirm and give life.[13:00]
He describes them as tiny temporary sanctuaries that show us we are not as alone as we think we are.[13:05]

Tweet about social media as holding hands at the end of the world

Johnny recalls that one night when he was feeling particularly sad and hopeless about the world, he wrote a tweet to the void.[13:12]
He tweeted that at this point, logging onto social media feels like holding someone's hand at the end of the world.[13:22]
He notes that this time it was not the void that responded, but people who replied and then began talking to each other.[13:27]
A small community again formed, with everybody metaphorically coming together to hold hands.[13:38]

Other people as what we must hold onto

Johnny says that in these dangerous and unsure times, in the midst of everything, the thing we have to hold onto is other people.[13:45]
He acknowledges that this is a small thing made up of small moments.[13:52]
Nevertheless, he describes it as one tiny, tiny sliver of light in all the darkness.[13:56]
He ends his talk with a simple "Thank you."[14:02]

Host outro, talk context, and production credits

Contextualizing Johnny Sun's talk

Elise identifies the speaker as Johnny Sun and notes that the talk was given at TED 2019.[14:10]
She states that his talk was originally published in June 2019.[14:12]

Reminder about the live book club conversation

Elise reminds listeners that the last live book club conversation of the year is on November 4th with Oliver Berkman.[14:20]

Mention of TED's curation guidelines and show credits

She mentions that if listeners are curious about TED's curation, they can find out more via TED's curation guidelines.[14:29]
Elise notes that TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective.[14:36]
She credits the episode's production and editing team: Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Green, Lucy Little, and Tansika Sangmarnivong.[14:39]
She says the episode was mixed by Christopher "Fazy" Bogan.[14:48]
Additional support came from Emma Taubner and Daniella Balarezo.[14:51]
Elise signs off by saying she will be back tomorrow with a fresh idea and thanks listeners for listening.[14:56]

Lessons Learned

Actionable insights and wisdom you can apply to your business, career, and personal life.

1

Sharing your vulnerabilities and feelings of loneliness publicly can transform isolation into connection by showing others they are not alone in feeling the same way.

Reflection Questions:

  • • What is one feeling you usually hide that, if shared appropriately, might help someone else feel less alone?
  • • How could you safely test sharing a small vulnerability in a conversation or online space this week?
  • • Where in your life do you currently feel most isolated, and what small, honest disclosure could begin to open a bridge to others there?
2

Treating creative expression as a way to externalize your internal world-through stories, drawings, or jokes-can help you understand your own emotions and give others language for theirs.

Reflection Questions:

  • • What medium (writing, drawing, voice notes, etc.) feels most natural for you to express feelings you haven't yet put into words?
  • • How might regularly turning one difficult emotion into a sketch, paragraph, or note change your relationship to that emotion over the next month?
  • • Which recurring feeling in your life could become the subject of a small creative project that you share with at least one trusted person?
3

Small, fleeting interactions online or offline-like brief comment threads or shared jokes-can still be meaningful micro-communities that offer real support and recognition.

Reflection Questions:

  • • When was the last time a short interaction with a stranger or acquaintance made you feel unexpectedly seen or supported?
  • • How could you be more intentional about contributing a kind or thoughtful comment when you see someone sharing something vulnerable?
  • • What is one online space or thread where you could show up this week as a supportive presence rather than a passive observer?
4

Acknowledging both the harms and the benefits of digital platforms allows you to engage with them more consciously, seeking life-giving connections while being realistic about their risks.

Reflection Questions:

  • • In what specific ways do your current online habits nourish you, and in what ways do they drain or harm you?
  • • How could you redesign your daily internet use to maximize moments of genuine connection and minimize exposure to chaos or hostility?
  • • What one boundary around social media (time, topics, or people) could you set this week to protect your mental health while staying open to meaningful interactions?
5

Recognizing that we often feel like "aliens" when we enter new environments can help normalize imposter feelings and encourage us to seek or create spaces where our strangeness is shared.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Where in your life right now do you feel most like an outsider or "alien," and what stories do you tell yourself about that feeling?
  • • How might reframing your sense of not belonging as a common human experience change the way you show up in that environment?
  • • What is one concrete step you could take to find or create a small community of people who share at least one of your "strange" interests or experiences?
6

Even in chaotic and frightening times, deliberately reaching out to hold onto other people-even metaphorically-can serve as a small but vital source of hope and resilience.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Who in your life feels like a "hand to hold" during difficult moments, and how often do you actually reach out to them?
  • • How could you make a habit of initiating brief, sincere check-ins with others when the world feels overwhelming?
  • • What is one simple action you can take today to be that small sliver of light for someone else who might be struggling in silence?

Episode Summary - Notes by Avery

TED Talks Daily Book Club: You are not alone in your loneliness | Jonny Sun (re-release)
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