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TED Talks Daily

"The minister of loneliness" | Sarah Kay

with Sarah Kay

Published November 28, 2025
View Show Notes

About This Episode

Host Elise Hugh introduces poet Sarah Kay, who performs a spoken word piece about loneliness, connection, and curiosity. Kay begins with a real statistic about suicide and COVID-19 in Japan and the creation of a government role called the "minister of loneliness." She then imagines, in poetic detail, what such a minister might do to reweave social bonds, from buddy systems and intergenerational contact to shared art, hotlines, and his own shy crush that keeps listeners engaged with life.

Topics Covered

Loneliness Social isolation Mental health Poetry Art and creativity Grief and loss Relationships Curiosity COVID-19 response and public health policy

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Quick Takeaways

  • The talk opens with a stark statistic about Japan in October 2020, when more people died by suicide in that month than from COVID-19 in the entire year up to that point.
  • In response to this crisis, the Japanese government created a position called the minister of loneliness.
  • Sarah Kay imagines a world where the minister abolishes email and replaces it with one-on-one tin-can-and-string connections so every person has a reliable buddy.
  • Her imagined policies include pairing kindergartens with elder-care facilities, reshaping Valentine's Day so no one is left out, and prescribing therapy, walks, and meditation for everyone.
  • The minister commissions musicians, actors, and poets to send performances through the makeshift communication network, making grief and art widely shared experiences.
  • Kay's poem humanizes the minister with a shy crush on a middle school teacher, whose unfolding story captivates the nation and distracts people from thoughts of dying.
  • The minister starts a hotline for feedback, creating a noisy but participatory form of governance that still leaves room for his private wondering about the woman he likes.
  • The piece highlights how intentional structures of connection, shared stories, and gentle curiosity about others might transform loneliness.

Podcast Notes

Show introduction and framing of the talk

TED Talks Daily description and host introduction

Host identifies the show and its purpose[2:01]
• Elise Hugh says listeners are hearing TED Talks Daily, a show that brings new ideas to spark curiosity every day.
Host introduces herself by name[2:01]
• She states, "I'm your host, Elise Hugh."

Introduction of Sarah Kay and thematic focus

Host frames the world as complex and mixed with grief and joy[2:01]
• Elise notes that we live "In a complex world full of both grief and joy."
Host explains how Sarah Kay responds to this complexity[2:08]
• She says poet Sarah Kay reflects on curiosity and connection with a spoken word performance.
Host previews the central imaginative device of the poem[2:01]
• Elise explains that Sarah Kay imagines the responsibilities a so-called "minister of loneliness" might have and what that might mean for the world.

Real-world context: Japan's suicide statistics and creation of a minister of loneliness

Statistic about suicide and COVID-19 in Japan

Sarah Kay situates the poem in Japan and in a specific time period[2:46]
• She begins, "In the country of Japan, in the month of October 2020, more people died by suicide than had died from COVID-19 in all of 2020 up to that point."
The contrast between suicide deaths and COVID-19 deaths is explicit[2:39]
• She emphasizes that the count of suicide deaths in a single month surpassed the total number of COVID-19 deaths in Japan for the year up to that time.

Government response: creation of the minister of loneliness

Japanese government institutes a new position in response to the crisis[2:46]
• Sarah states that in response, "the Japanese government instituted a new position of a minister of loneliness."
The minister of loneliness is introduced as a central figure[2:54]
• From this point forward, the poem focuses on what this minister of loneliness does and symbolizes.

Imagined communication system and buddy structure created by the minister of loneliness

Abolishing email and replacing it with tin-can communication

The minister abolishes email as a form of communication[2:54]
• Sarah says, "The minister of loneliness, has abolished email."
He installs tin cans and string between people's windows[2:57]
• She describes him "installing tin cans on every windowsill with a piece of string to someone else's window."
Each person has only one such connection[3:07]
• Sarah clarifies, "Not several, just one. Each person, of course, does not need a lot of people to speak to, just the one."
The qualities required of this single connection are defined[2:08]
• She adds that "the one must be reliable, must be available when needed."

Nationwide buddy system and "adulthood museum" field trip metaphor

The minister implements a buddy system[3:23]
• Sarah declares, "We are employing a buddy system now."
Daily life is likened to a field trip to an adulthood museum[3:27]
• She says, "Every day, is a field trip to the adulthood museum and we don't go home until everyone has been accounted for."
Accountability and not leaving anyone behind are emphasized[3:33]
• The line "we don't go home until everyone has been accounted for" frames adulthood as a collective responsibility.

Game-like process of finding one's buddy

Finding a buddy is turned into a nationwide game of "guess who"[3:33]
• Sarah says, "The way you find your buddy is a nationwide game of guess who."
People identify themselves through personal favorites and emotional triggers[3:16]
• Participants "sing the song that is always stuck in your head, describe the movie you can't get through without crying, the hardest you've ever laughed, the outfit you wish you could pull off."
A buddy is the one person who can recognize you from these details[3:50]
• Sarah notes that "the only person who can spot you is the one you are assigned."

Consequences of the new connection system: tangled strings, halted economy, and shared eavesdropping

Japan imagined as a ball of string and productivity stopping

The physical and metaphorical image of string takes over the country[3:56]
• Sarah says, "All of Japan is a ball of string now."
Economic productivity is portrayed as impossible[3:56]
• She notes that "the economy has ground to a halt, productivity is entirely impossible."

Accidental eavesdropping through knots in the string

Knots cause cross-connections between conversations[4:35]
• Sarah describes how "sometimes you go to talk into the can on your windowsill, and a knot in the string accidentally gives you someone else's conversation."
Other people's loneliness becomes audible and shared[4:17]
• She calls it "the fading fabric of someone else's loneliness evaporating into the air between buildings."
Eavesdropping is permitted and universal[4:24]
• Sarah states, "you are allowed to eavesdrop. But so is everyone else."

Structural interventions: intergenerational contact, inclusive celebrations, and universal care

Combining kindergartens with elderly assisted living centers

Kindergartens are moved into elder-care facilities[4:27]
• Sarah says, "The Minister of Loneliness has moved all kindergartens to the ground floor of elderly assisted living centers."
Daily story hours are introduced[4:35]
• She mentions that "There are daily story hours."
Animal shelters are placed nearby[4:35]
• Sarah adds that there are "animal shelters across the street."

Reimagining Valentine's Day to ensure no one is excluded

Valentine's Day remains but is regulated for inclusivity[4:40]
• She says the minister "has not abolished Valentine's Day, but has instituted a nationwide bring enough for the class regulation."
Outcome of the new Valentine's regulation: no one is empty-handed[4:48]
• Sarah concludes this image by saying, "and nobody goes home empty-handed."

Universal therapy, nature walks, and meditation opportunities

Therapy is prescribed for everyone[4:56]
• Sarah states, "The Minister of Loneliness has prescribed... He's prescribed therapy for everyone."
Daily walks in gardens become part of the prescription[4:58]
• She includes "Daily walks through the many gardens" as part of the minister's prescription.
Multiple settings for meditation are described, varying by season[5:06]
• Sarah lists "opportunities for meditation by a brook, in the rain, under falling blossoms, or along a snowy riverbank, depending on the season."

Cultural and emotional programming: arts, grief, and mismatched visits

Commissioning artists and sending performances through the tin-can network

The minister enlists musicians, actors, and poets[5:10]
• Sarah says he "has commissioned musicians and actors and poets to create concerts and radio plays and poetry readings."
Performances are broadcast through the knotted tin-can lines[5:16]
• She explains these works are "to be pumped across the knotted tin can radio lines every evening."

Dinner deliveries paired with companionship and dance instruction

Ordering dinner for one triggers an unusual delivery service[5:22]
• Sarah describes that when you order dinner for one, "the person who delivers it arrives with an appropriate ability and comfort level, dance instruction, video, and two hours to spare."

Encouragement of grieving and art, and accidental mix-ups in support roles

Grieving is actively encouraged, and art-making is widespread[5:33]
• Sarah states plainly, "Grieving is encouraged, and art making is rampant."
Knots in the communication system cause unexpected visitors[5:33]
• She notes that "because of the knots, sometimes when you are expecting a visit from a grief counselor, the dance partner food delivery arrives instead."
The same person can occupy both supportive roles[5:46]
• Sarah adds, "Sometimes they are the same person."

Humanizing the minister: popularity, romantic crush, and a nation listening

The minister's popularity and lack of tiredness

Despite his workload, the minister is described as not tired[5:49]
• Sarah says, "The minister of loneliness isn't tired."
He is portrayed as the most popular man in the country[5:52]
• She continues, "He is the most popular man in the country."

The minister's crush and national eavesdropping

The minister has a crush on a middle school teacher[5:56]
• Sarah reveals, "He has a crush on a middle school teacher across town."
Everyone listens in on his awkwardness when she answers[5:56]
• She says, "and everyone eavesdrops to hear the way he stumbles when she answers."
The whole country is captivated by their story instead of focusing on death[6:12]
• Sarah describes how "Everyone is on the edge of their seats. Everyone forgets about dying because they can't wait to find out what happens next."

Feedback, noise, and the minister's private wondering

Public opinions and the creation of a hotline

The public has many opinions about the minister and his work[6:11]
• Sarah notes, "Everyone has opinions."
The minister starts a hotline for people to share their thoughts[6:12]
• She says, "The minister has to start a hotline where people can call in to tell him their thoughts."
The tin cans rattle constantly with communication[6:18]
• Sarah describes, "The tin cans rattle nonstop."
The minister feels both gratitude and nervousness about the attention[6:20]
• She says, "The minister is grateful for the advice, but is nervous."

Concern about how his crush perceives the commotion

He worries that the noise will reach his crush[6:24]
• Sarah continues, "His crush will hear. The commotion."
He is unsure whether she prefers quiet but suspects she might[6:38]
• She repeats, "He is nervous. She prefers quiet, but he does not know for sure yet."
He realizes how much he does not know about her[6:31]
• Sarah lists the unknowns: he "does not know what she is thinking, does not know how she spends her Saturdays or how she prefers her tea or whether she likes to walk in the rain."
Despite the uncertainty, he enjoys the act of wondering[6:38]
• She concludes this section with, "but he likes wondering."

Quiet nighttime moments of reflection

The minister treasures solitary late-night wondering[6:45]
• Sarah ends the poem: "When nobody is paying attention, when the windowsills are quiet, late at night awake, he does like to wonder."

Outro and credits

Host identifies the speaker and event

Elise confirms the performer and the TED year[7:31]
• She says, "That was Sarah Kay speaking at TED 2025."

Information about TED's curation guidelines

Host mentions where to learn about TED's curation[7:06]
• Elise tells listeners, "If you're curious about TED's curation, find out more at TED.com slash curation guidelines."

Production credits for TED Talks Daily episode

Host notes that the talk was fact-checked[7:18]
• She says, "This talk was fact-checked by the TED Research Team."
Elise lists producers, editors, and other contributors[7:31]
• She names team members including Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Green, Lucy Little, and Tansika Sangmarnivong, as well as mixer Christopher Fazy-Bogan and additional support from Emma Taubner and Daniela Balarezo.
Host signs off with a promise of future ideas[7:13]
• Elise says she will be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for the audience's feed and thanks listeners for listening.

Lessons Learned

Actionable insights and wisdom you can apply to your business, career, and personal life.

1

Structures that prioritize small, reliable connections-like a designated "buddy"-can be more powerful against loneliness than a large number of shallow contacts.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Who in your life currently serves as a truly reliable point of connection, and how intentional are you about nurturing that relationship?
  • • How might your daily routines change if you designed them around one or two deep, dependable connections instead of many casual ones?
  • • What is one concrete step you could take this week to strengthen a single, meaningful relationship in your life?
2

Designing environments that naturally bring different generations and communities together-through shared spaces, stories, and animals-can soften isolation and create mutual care.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Where in your own community do different age groups or social circles naturally intersect, and how could you participate more actively there?
  • • How could you introduce a simple shared activity-like story time, a walk, or caring for animals-that brings isolated people in your orbit into contact with one another?
  • • What is one local place (a school, community center, or elder-care facility) where you might help facilitate more intergenerational connection?
3

Making room for both grief and creativity-encouraging people to mourn and to make art-can transform private pain into shared, livable experience.

Reflection Questions:

  • • What difficult feeling in your life have you mostly kept private that might benefit from being expressed through writing, music, or another creative form?
  • • How could you create or join a small ritual, group, or practice where grief and creativity are both welcomed rather than avoided?
  • • What is one specific piece of art you could start (no matter how small) that honestly reflects something you're currently struggling with?
4

It is not always necessary to fully know or control another person; sometimes, allowing yourself to wonder about them with curiosity can be its own gentle form of connection.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Who in your life do you feel curious about but also tempted to overanalyze or control, and how might you shift toward simple, compassionate wondering instead?
  • • How would your relationships feel different if you accepted that you don't need to know every detail about someone to care deeply for them?
  • • What is one relationship where you could practice asking open, curious questions and then being comfortable with whatever remains unknown?

Episode Summary - Notes by Spencer

"The minister of loneliness" | Sarah Kay
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