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TED Talks Daily

Sunday Pick: How to love your hometown (w/ Hanif Abdurraqib & Sarah Kay) | How to Be a Better Human

with Hanif Abdurraqib, Sarah Kay

Published November 23, 2025
View Show Notes

About This Episode

Host Chris Duffy visits writer and cultural critic Hanif Abdurraqib in his hometown of Columbus, Ohio, joined by poet Sarah Kay, to explore what it means to love where you are from. Through stops at a record store, sneaker shop, public park, and bookstore, Hanif shows how everyday interactions, generosity, and attention build a sense of home and community. He also shares a personal story about being unhoused and the quiet kindness that shaped his understanding of care and shared time.

Topics Covered

Personal Development Personal narrative Urban design and culture Art and creativity Poetry Community building Sense of place Homelessness and housing insecurity Friendship dynamics Record and sneaker culture

Disclaimer: We provide independent summaries of podcasts and are not affiliated with or endorsed in any way by any podcast or creator. All podcast names and content are the property of their respective owners. The views and opinions expressed within the podcasts belong solely to the original hosts and guests and do not reflect the views or positions of Summapod.

Quick Takeaways

  • Home is not just a physical location but a feeling of belonging built through relationships and mutual care.
  • Hanif Abdurraqib experiences Columbus as a place where people speak to him with familiarity and curiosity, deepening his attachment to the city.
  • Local businesses like record shops and sneaker boutiques can function as community hubs where people are known, remembered, and supported.
  • Staying in one's hometown can be a form of resistance that preserves history and prevents communities from being erased or displaced.
  • Noticing everyday beauty, like clouds or flowers, can strengthen our ability to pay close attention to the people in our lives.
  • Community can start from small acts, like unlocking a door so someone can safely rest for a few hours.
  • Offering yourself freely and eagerly to others creates a shared culture of holding onto things that might delight one another.
  • Treating your time as something not solely your own can deepen how you love others and how you use the time that is yours.

Podcast Notes

TED Talks Daily introduction and context for the episode

Elise Hu introduces Sunday Picks on TED Talks Daily

Elise Hu greets listeners and explains the Sunday Picks format[2:46]
• She says that on Sundays they share an episode from another podcast in the TED Audio Collective, handpicked for listeners.

Introduction of How to Be a Better Human and the featured episode

Elise introduces an episode of "How to Be a Better Human"[3:03]
• She notes that the show is hosted by comedian Chris Duffy.
Episode theme: loving where you live[3:06]
• Elise quotes writer and cultural critic Hanif Abdurraqib's idea that loving where you live means caring for the people who make that place home.
• She explains that Hanif invites Chris Duffy and poet Sarah Kay to Columbus, Ohio, to show what makes it special.
Preview of the places visited and themes explored[4:16]
• Elise mentions visits to sneaker shops, record stores, and public parks.
• She says Hanif talks about how he builds community and how home really is where the heart is.

Note about special video series adaptation

Connection to How to Be a Better Human bonus videos[3:33]
• Elise explains that this episode is part of a special series, the How to Be a Better Human bonus videos, adapted for podcasts specifically for TED Talks Daily listeners.
Directions for listeners who want more[3:41]
• She tells listeners they can watch the entire special series at TED.com.
• She adds that for more insights like this, listeners can hear How to Be a Better Human wherever they get their podcasts.

Chris Duffy's opening reflection on home and belonging

Chris introduces the central question: What is home?

Chris reflects on the meaning of home beyond physical space[3:56]
• He says home is not just a place with familiar spots and corners; it is where you feel a sense of belonging.
• He notes that as the world has become bigger, messier, and lonelier, he feels it is more urgent to have people and places he can depend on.
The desire to truly call a place home[4:20]
• Chris says he wants to really be able to call a place home, not just live somewhere.

Sarah Kay's recommendation to visit Hanif in Columbus

Chris shares how Sarah Kay directed him to Hanif[4:35]
• When Chris brought up his thoughts about home with his friend, poet and educator Sarah Kay, she told him to go to Columbus, Ohio and hang out with her friend Hanif Abdurraqib.
Why Hanif was the right person for this exploration[5:18]
• Chris says Sarah described Hanif as the best person to show what it means to be from a place, to love that place, and to love the people in it.

Introduction of Hanif Abdurraqib and his work

Chris outlines Hanif's many roles[4:47]
• Chris says Hanif wears many hats, but he knows him first as a poet and a writer.
• He calls Hanif a cultural critic who writes about music in a way that makes you want to listen to albums all day long.
• He describes Hanif as an essayist whose books about grief, joy, and basketball make you "ugly cry" in public.
Hanif's relationship to Columbus[5:13]
• Chris notes that Hanif spends a lot of time on the road but always returns to the place where he is from, the east side of Columbus, Ohio.
• He says Columbus is not just a place that Hanif loves; it is clearly a place that loves Hanif right back.

Conversation at Spoonful Records: Community, familiarity, and offering yourself to others

Setting the scene at Spoonful Records

Chris meets Hanif at Spoonful Records[5:20]
• Chris says he sat down with Hanif at one of Hanif's favorite spots in town, a vinyl record shop called Spoonful Records, to find out why Columbus means so much to him.

Grounding ourselves in place and community during overwhelming times

Chris frames the idea of grounding in place[5:28]
• Chris says that when the world is overwhelming and there is so much going on, one way to ground ourselves is to be in a specific place, in a community, with people we care about.
• He emphasizes taking care of people and having them take care of us as part of that grounding.

Hanif's story about a neighborhood power outage and spontaneous gathering

Heat wave and loss of power in Hanif's neighborhood[5:52]
• Hanif notes that they are filming and recording in June during a massive heat wave that has gripped the city.
• He says his neighborhood lost power the previous night, specifically his street.
Realizing the outage was communal, not individual[6:26]
• Hanif recalls having about ten minutes of thinking the power loss might be just affecting him.
• He then peeked out his window and saw one of his neighbors gathering people in a gazebo in the middle of their street.
Community response and identifying immediate needs[6:18]
• Hanif says it was wonderful to go out to this gathering point and have everyone collectively acknowledge that none of them had power.
• He describes people asking what the most immediate needs were in that situation.

Rejecting isolating individualism through awareness of others

How seeing others counters the "small speck" feeling[6:22]
• Hanif says that if he were to say he is just a small speck in this grand universe, he would easily fall into individualism.
• Instead, he notes that when he steps outside his house, he sees either a person or the results of a person's living reflected directly to him.

Why Hanif loves Columbus and how local shops embody community

Hanif explains why he loves Columbus

Familiar and comfortable interactions with people[6:52]
• Hanif says that his most joyful experiences living in Columbus are mirrored by the fact that people talk to him in a way that is familiar and comfortable.

Columbus as a record town and Spoonful Records' role

Spoonful Records as Hanif's favorite record shop[6:58]
• Hanif states that they are in Spoonful Records in Columbus, Ohio, which is his favorite record shop.
• He adds that Columbus is a great record town.
Record shopping on tour vs. at home[7:06]
• Hanif says that in every city he would stop on tour, he would go digging and record shopping.
• He describes this as isolating because he knows his own taste and, left to his own devices, would just delve through crates to satisfy his own preferences.
The importance of people who broaden your taste[8:06]
• Hanif says that record shopping requires someone-either a friend you bring or a person behind the counter-who can connect you to things you might like.
• He mentions staff at Spoonful, like Brett, Amy, or Elijah, who might remember a conversation about Sly Stone and then offer Sly Stone B-sides to hear.

Being known with curiosity and care in local spaces

Personal touches at Spoonful Records[8:17]
• Chris points out that Amy drew something in the shop, and Hanif affirms that.
• Hanif characterizes Spoonful as a place where people know you with a depth of curiosity and care.
Hanif's ongoing relationships with the shop staff[7:18]
• He thanks the staff, says "Thanks as always, y'all," asks them to tell Amy he says what's up, and invites them to email him stuff they are working on.
• He tells them to hit him up, reinforcing reciprocal connection.

Philosophy of offering yourself up freely and eagerly

How generosity feeds shared interests[7:48]
• Hanif says that if he offers himself up freely and eagerly to others, it informs their collective, shared interest in each other.
• He explains that when people come across something that might delight another person, they hold onto it until that person re-enters their lives.
Mapping this practice onto life in Columbus[8:02]
• Hanif says that this dynamic has really mapped itself out through his life in Columbus.

Reframing "strangers" and early socialization

Chris contrasts childhood advice with Hanif's approach[8:17]
• Chris notes that as kids, people are told not to talk to strangers.
• He observes that to Hanif, no one in town is a stranger, even if Hanif has never met them before.

Visit to Heat Archive: Sneaker culture, community hub, and staying in your hometown

Hanif's love of sneakers and introduction to Heat Archive

Sneakers as a core part of Hanif's identity[8:58]
• Chris notes that those familiar with Hanif already know he absolutely loves sneakers.
• He says a trip to Hanif's hometown would be incomplete without visiting Hanif's favorite sneaker shop, Heat Archive.
Recognition and warmth at Heat Archive[9:07]
• Chris remarks that, just like at Spoonful Records, everyone knew Hanif at Heat Archive.
• Hanif is greeted with "What's up, brother?" and offered a donut, underscoring familiarity.

Evolution of sneaker boutiques and Heat Archive's local roots

Sneaker boutiques becoming more common[9:25]
• Hanif explains he is a big sneaker guy and that when he was coming up, sneaker boutiques were not as popular.
• He notes that now there are sneaker boutiques everywhere.
Heat Archive as a local, dream-realizing project[9:28]
• Hanif says Heat Archive is interesting because they are local guys.
• One of the people at the shop says that bringing this shop to Columbus was their dream growing up and that it's what they love to do and have a big passion for.

Symbolic "Columbus sneaker" and local colors

Identifying the most Columbus sneaker[9:37]
• Chris asks what the most Columbus sneaker in the store is, meaning a shoe that sums up the city in one pair.
• The answer given is a pair in scarlet and gray, which they say would take it every time.
Connection to Ohio State University[9:49]
• Chris explains that scarlet and gray are the colors of Ohio State University, the Buckeyes.

Heat Archive as a community hub, especially for young people

Quiet generosity toward kids[9:55]
• Hanif says the shop owners are very caring and thoughtful for young folks and that they do not really talk about it a lot.
• He shares that if kids come in with a good report card, the shop will give them a pair of sneakers for free.
• He adds that if a kid comes in and does not have enough money for the pair he wants, the shop will take care of him.
Framing Heat Archive as more than a store[9:28]
• Hanif says Heat Archive feels like as much of a community hub as a sneaker shop can be.

Why some people leave their hometowns and why Hanif stays

Chris shares his own background of leaving New York City[10:14]
• Chris says he was born and raised in New York City and left, moving somewhere else.
• He contrasts this with Hanif, who was raised in Ohio and still lives there.
Question about staying versus leaving[11:25]
• Chris asks what makes some people leave their hometowns and some people stay.
Hanif on a contentious relationship with place of origin[10:32]
• Hanif says he thinks the relationship with one's place of origin is, by definition, contentious because you do not choose it.
• He describes a place as something that happens to you.

Story of a woman resisting gentrification by staying put

The woman holding onto her house in East Columbus[10:46]
• Hanif says there is a woman on a street in East Columbus who has held on to her house no matter what.
• He notes she has been offered a lot of money and many offers to move out of her house.
Her house as an entry point for redevelopment[11:01]
• Hanif explains that if she moves out, her house would be the entry point to raze that neighborhood and make it something else.
• He emphasizes that she refuses to leave.
How her refusal shapes Hanif's understanding of his own work[11:11]
• Hanif says her refusal is an action that his work is pointing towards.

Staying as a way to preserve history and resist harmful designs

Presence as resistance to city plans[11:15]
• Hanif says his very presence is stopping the worst designs of a city that has no idea who its population actually is.
Maintaining a history that continues beyond one's lifetime[11:30]
• He says that by staying in his state, he is keeping a history that existed before him and a history he wants to exist after him.
Questioning the point of staying if a neighborhood changes too much[11:32]
• Hanif asks what the point is of staying in a neighborhood if it no longer feels like a place where you are welcome.
• He also asks what it means if you cannot be translated through the new population of that neighborhood.

Visit to the Park of Roses: Beauty, poetry, and gratitude

Arriving at the Park of Roses and its significance

Description of the park environment[11:45]
• Chris notes that the sun was shining, water fountains were flowing, and there were flowers in bloom everywhere.
Why Hanif loves the Park of Roses[11:58]
• Hanif says he loves the Park of Roses because it is exactly what it sounds like.
• He explains that it was where you took someone on a date if you had no money but wanted to go out in spring.
• He says you could just look at the pretty flowers and not worry about both people being broke.

Stereotypes about poets and flowers

Chris jokes about poets' relationship with flowers[12:14]
• Chris observes that poets and flowers are stereotypically supposed to have a certain relationship.
• He jokes with Hanif and Sarah, saying, "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm with two poets. Do what you do."
Discovery of a flower named "poetry"[12:31]
• Someone points out that there is a flower named "poetry" in the park.

How natural beauty does or doesn't trigger poetic inspiration

Chris asks how beauty relates to their creative process[12:38]
• Chris asks if walking around a place full of natural beauty is ripe possibility for poetic inspiration or if that is not how it works for them.
Hanif's approach: beyond surface beauty[13:06]
• Hanif says that, for him, it does not work that way; he does not look at a bush of flowers and decide to write a poem about that specific bush.
• He thinks that might not be his brand of poetry or his brain function.
• He says it is more useful to find out the history of the flower and what it might tell him about the land it originally came from.
Letting beauty remain as it is[12:38]
• Hanif says there is something beyond the surface thing his brain is consuming.
• He believes that just because something is beautiful does not mean it has to be reworked into something else beyond what it already offers.
• He tends to think of the park as a cool place to sit in gratitude.
• He notes they are there in late July in the middle of a heat wave and that the flowers have survived a little longer than they normally would.

"Gilding the lily" and not overworking what is already beautiful

Reference to the phrase about unnecessary embellishment[13:25]
• Someone mentions the phrase "gilding the lily" and notes that it is literally about a flower.
• They explain that when something is already beautiful in its current form, it does not need "messy human poetry" added to it.

Poetry reading at $2 Radio Headquarters and the role of attention

Heading to $2 Radio Headquarters for a reading

Connection between the walk and the upcoming event[13:47]
• Chris says that as much as they wanted to stay and smell the roses, there was a poetry reading to catch at a local bookstore, $2 Radio Headquarters.
The reading is organized by Hanif for Sarah[13:55]
• Chris notes that the reading was not for Hanif but one that he had put together for Sarah, whose book had just come out.
• He says this realization hit something home for him about community being something you build.

Place happens to you, but community is built

Chris contrasts place and community[14:11]
• Chris repeats Hanif's earlier idea that place may be something that happens to you.
• He says community is something you build with care and generosity.

Hanif's introduction of Sarah Kay at $2 Radio

Hanif expresses joy at the event's setup[14:07]
• Hanif thanks the audience for coming and says it is great to be there and not be expected to do anything other than introduce poets he wants to hear.
Story about Sarah's reaction to the Columbus sky[14:25]
• Hanif recalls that Sarah arrived in Columbus the previous day and they were driving around.
• He says Sarah was looking up at the sky, remarking on how round and beautiful the clouds were and how puffy and round their edges looked.
• As someone who lives there, Hanif says he reacted with a somewhat casual "Oh, yeah, sure, sure."
Contrast with New York's skyline overshadowing the sky[14:47]
• Hanif explains that Sarah lives in New York, where the skyline is the show and the sky is not as much the show.

Hanif's interpretation of Sarah Kay's "project of living"

Sarah's constant invitation to "look at this thing"[14:59]
• Hanif says that often the function of the entire project of Sarah Kay's living, if he could boil it down to one thing, is "look at this thing, look at this thing, look at this thing."
• He clarifies that this is not in an annoying way.
Checking if your heart is still working through attention[15:06]
• Hanif says Sarah's way is like checking to see if your heart is still working and if your ability to pay close attention to what you are deeply familiar with is intact.
• He suggests that if you can pay deep, close attention to the clouds you walk under every day, you might be able to pay close attention to someone in your life who is hurting or in need.
• He adds that sometimes someone might just need you to sit in front of them and be silent for a while.
Hanif's gratitude for Sarah's role in his life[15:32]
• Hanif says he is thankful to be a fan of Sarah's work.
• More than that, he is thankful to have a life where Sarah is always challenging him to repeatedly question how well his heart is still working.
• He then invites the audience to give a hand to Sarah Kay.

Sarah's emotional response to Hanif's introduction

Sarah comments on being made to cry before reading[15:39]
• Sarah says it is not very charitable to make someone cry before they go on stage.
Warm greeting to the bookstore and city[15:17]
• Sarah greets the crowd with "Hi, Two Dollar Radio. Hi, Columbus."
• She adds, "Gosh, you look good," acknowledging the audience.

Chris's reflection on community-building as something small and manageable

Realization about the scale of community-building[16:14]
• Chris says that as he sat listening to beautiful poetry with a lovely group of people, he realized that building a community does not have to be a big, intimidating thing.
• He concludes that it can start small.

Hanif's story of being unhoused, a church's quiet help, and redefining community and time

Chris asks how Hanif decides who is in his circle of care

Prompt about defining one's circle of care[16:25]
• Chris recalls something Hanif said earlier and asks how Hanif decides who is in his circle of care and who is not.

Hanif's experience of being unhoused and finding sanctuary

Living without stable housing[16:50]
• Hanif shares that he was unhoused for a stretch.
• He says he was sleeping in a storage unit for a while and then was very much on the streets.
Daily routine of walking past a large church[16:35]
• Hanif describes a very large church that he walked by every morning.
Maintenance worker's quiet act of care[16:43]
• He says there was a person, a maintenance person at the church, who would notice him.
• After a while, without much language or intention, this person began unlocking the door at 6:00 a.m. and letting Hanif and a couple of others come in and sleep in the pews for three hours.
• Hanif frames this act as simply saying, "I have a key. The key opens a door. Inside, on the other side of the door, is a place where you'll be safe for three hours."

How this experience shapes Hanif's view of community and service

Broad and intergenerational community[17:13]
• Hanif says he has been lucky in his life to feel like he has been in community with elders and younger folks.
• He notes he has also been in community with a broad swath of people generally.
Giving of himself as something simple, not heroic[17:30]
• Hanif says that often it does not feel difficult or challenging to give of himself in a way that serves or feeds others.
• He says it instead feels like a very simple thing of having a key to something, unlocking something, and sitting in a comfortable, safe place together for as long as it takes.

Time, surrender, and loving others better

Surrendering time as a kind of miracle[17:47]
• Hanif says that in some ways, the miracle is to say, "I will surrender my time to you."
• Through surrendering his time, he hopes to love that person better and also to be renewed in a way that helps him love others better.
Recognizing that time is not only one's own[17:47]
• Hanif says that if he moves through the world with a clear understanding that his time is not only his own, he thinks he makes the most of it in the moments where it is his own.

Lessons Learned

Actionable insights and wisdom you can apply to your business, career, and personal life.

1

Home is created through relationships and mutual care, not just by living in a specific physical location; showing up for your neighbors and being known by them transforms a place into a true home.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Who in your current neighborhood or building actually knows you well enough to notice if something changed in your life?
  • • How might your sense of home shift if you focused more on caring for the people around you rather than on the physical space itself?
  • • What is one small act of care you could offer a neighbor or local shop this week to strengthen your shared sense of home?
2

Offering yourself freely and eagerly to others-sharing your tastes, attention, and presence-creates a feedback loop where people look out for things that might delight and support you in return.

Reflection Questions:

  • • In what situations do you tend to hold back instead of letting people really know what you love or care about?
  • • How could being more open about your interests and needs help others be more generous and thoughtful toward you?
  • • What is one conversation you could have this week where you let someone in a bit more and invite them into your genuine preferences or struggles?
3

Choosing to stay in a changing place can be a deliberate act of preserving history and resisting harmful transformation, especially when development threatens to erase existing communities.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Where in your own life do you feel pressure to move on or leave, even though staying might help preserve something important?
  • • How could you better understand the history and people of your neighborhood so you can decide more intentionally whether to stay, leave, or advocate for change?
  • • What is one concrete way you could support long-time residents or local institutions that help maintain your community's character?
4

Paying close attention to everyday beauty-like clouds, flowers, or familiar streets-trains your heart and mind to notice when people around you are hurting or in need of quiet companionship.

Reflection Questions:

  • • What ordinary parts of your daily environment have you stopped really seeing because they feel so familiar?
  • • How might intentionally noticing small details in your surroundings change the way you notice emotions and needs in the people close to you?
  • • What simple practice of observation (a daily walk, looking at the sky, sitting in a park) could you add to your routine to strengthen your attention and empathy?
5

Acts of community care do not have to be grand or formal; using the "keys" you already have-access, space, time-can create pockets of safety and rest for others in profound ways.

Reflection Questions:

  • • What figurative "keys" do you currently hold (spaces you can share, skills you have, connections you can offer) that might help someone feel safer or more supported?
  • • How might your view of generosity change if you focused less on money or status and more on simply opening doors you already have access to?
  • • Who is one person in your orbit who might benefit if you quietly offered them a bit of your time, space, or access this month?
6

Treating your time as not solely your own-being willing to surrender some of it to sit with others, listen, or simply be present-can deepen your capacity to love and renew you for other relationships.

Reflection Questions:

  • • When do you feel most protective of your time, and are there moments when sharing it might actually enrich both you and someone else?
  • • How could re-framing certain interactions as intentional "time given" rather than interruptions change your attitude toward them?
  • • What is one block of time in the coming weeks you could consciously set aside to be fully present with someone who might need you?

Episode Summary - Notes by River

Sunday Pick: How to love your hometown (w/ Hanif Abdurraqib & Sarah Kay) | How to Be a Better Human
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