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Pivot

Why Scott Galloway Wants Us To Celebrate Masculinity, Not Diminish It | On With Kara Swisher

with Scott Galloway

Published November 28, 2025
Visit Podcast Website

About This Episode

Kara Swisher interviews Scott Galloway about his book "Notes on Being a Man," exploring the crisis facing young men and his attempt to redefine masculinity as a positive, aspirational code built around providing, protecting, and procreating responsibly. Galloway grounds the discussion in his own upbringing with a single mother, the absence and later partial redemption of his father, his drive to become financially secure, and his evolving role as a father of two sons. They also discuss how politics, culture, education, and policy can better support boys and men without diminishing the progress and rights of women and other marginalized groups.

Topics Covered

Masculinity Fatherhood Parenting and child development Mental health Social media addiction U.S. politics and elections Relationships Personal Development Status and power dynamics Mentorship

Disclaimer: We provide independent summaries of podcasts and are not affiliated with or endorsed in any way by any podcast or creator. All podcast names and content are the property of their respective owners. The views and opinions expressed within the podcasts belong solely to the original hosts and guests and do not reflect the views or positions of Summapod.

Quick Takeaways

  • Scott Galloway argues that many young men lack a "code" for making decisions and that a modern, aspirational notion of masculinity can serve as that framework.
  • He highlights stark data about male distress, including higher suicide rates, millions of young men neither working nor in school or training, and increasing social isolation driven by phone addiction.
  • Galloway's three-legged stool of masculinity is to provide, protect, and procreate, which he frames as economic responsibility, emotional and physical safety, and building healthy romantic partnerships and families.
  • He emphasizes that kindness, manners, and noticing other people's lives are powerful, often overlooked masculine traits that make men better partners and fathers.
  • The conversation links the political rise of coarse, regressive models of masculinity to the frustrations of struggling young men and calls for the left to affirm masculinity while championing inclusion.
  • Policy ideas include redshirting boys, recruiting more male teachers, expanding vocational education, growing university seats, national service, tax reform, and subsidizing "third places" where young people can form connections.
  • Galloway credits his single mother, a few key male mentors, and his father's late-in-life attempts at affection as pivotal in shaping his outlook and communication skills.
  • He says becoming a father finally gave him a clear sense of purpose and peace, even as it forced hard trade-offs between time with his children and intense focus on work to achieve economic security.

Podcast Notes

Preamble and setup from Pivot feed

Pivot hosts introduce the crossover episode

Kara and Scott explain that this "On with Kara Swisher" episode is being dropped into the Pivot feed as a holiday extra[0:18]
• Kara jokes that listeners are getting "more of me and Scott" and compares them to an extra turkey with dressing on the side
Kara frames the episode as focusing on Scott's new book and their discussion about his life and advice[0:40]
• She says the book is "Notes on Being a Man" and calls it fantastic, noting the conversation covers Scott as a person, his parents, and his advice that is getting a lot of pickup
Banter about their relationship and age[0:53]
• Kara jokingly calls Scott a "young guy" and says people are noticing him across the country, while Scott teases that Kara must be microdosing MDMA to be so generous

On with Kara Swisher introduction and Scott's bio

Show and guest introduction

Kara introduces "On with Kara Swisher" and herself[2:53]
• She notes the show is from New York Magazine and the Vox Media Podcast Network and identifies herself as Kara Swisher
Kara presents Scott Galloway's professional background[2:59]
• She lists him as her Pivot co-host, host of Prof G and Raging Moderates, a marketing professor at NYU's Stern School of Business, founder of several successful marketing firms, and author of many best-selling books
Context for Scott's new book[3:12]
• Kara says Scott has a new book coming out titled "Notes on Being a Man" and that he has been sounding the alarm about problems facing young men for a long time
• She describes the book as part memoir and part self-help book for boys, at a time when algorithms are pushing more of them toward the regressive masculinity of MAGA and the far right

Kara and Scott's relationship and perspective on gender

Kara reflects on her surprising and positive relationship with Scott[3:45]
• She calls Scott one of her favorite people and notes they frequently discuss young men, mentioning she has three sons and he has been a mentor to them
Kara on their gender dynamics[4:03]
• She says Scott can be very feminine in many ways and she can be very masculine, and that they are trying to upend ideas of masculinity and femininity by showing how men and women can positively affect each other's lives
• Kara jokes that she suspects Scott has made her more kind and that she has simply made him better, "a better man from knowing me"

Teaser about expert question

Kara previews that the expert question will come from Michelle Wolfe[4:27]
• She notes that the expert question comes from comedian Michelle Wolfe, whom Scott loves and calls his favorite comedian

Opening banter and transition into the book discussion

Banter about staying at each other's homes

Scott jokes that coming on Kara's show feels like staying at her place[4:55]
• He says it feels a little uncomfortable and compares it to finally staying at her house, since he often stays at her place but she never stays at his
Scott's discomfort with staying at friends' homes[4:59]
• He says he likes being able to call someone and yell "where is my fucking breakfast" and feels he can't do that when staying with friends

Turning to Scott's new book

Kara redirects to the purpose of the episode: discussing Scott's new book[5:17]
• She mentions they met through his first book "The Four" and notes he has written a bunch of books
Kara asks how Scott came to this subject[5:23]
• She asks how he went from worrying about raising his two sons to having a much larger concern about young men in general

Scott's motivation and diagnosis of the crisis among young men

Using his platform to address under-discussed issues

Scott explains why he leaned into this topic as he got older[5:39]
• He says he wanted to use his platform to talk about issues that others weren't talking about enough and see if he could have a positive impact
He notes that talking about young men was once seen as dangerous[5:55]
• About five years ago, advocating for young men produced a "gag reflex" because it associated you with far-right figures who blamed women and non-whites and wanted to take them "back to the 50s"

Data on young men: suicide, NEET, and isolation

Scott cites striking data about male distress[6:28]
• He says if you go into a morgue and five young people have died by suicide, four are men
• He notes that several million men in America are neither employed, in education, nor in training
• He adds that a decent number of men in their 20s spend less time outside than prison inmates because they are so addicted to their phones
Scott's personal identification with struggling young men[6:58]
• He says "there but for the grace of God go I", describing himself as not a remarkable young man without many economic or romantic opportunities and raised by a single mother

Need for a code and masculinity as a framework

Scott argues young people need a code for decisions[7:14]
• He says every young person needs a code to help them sort through the thousands of decisions they make each day, which can come from religion, parents, the military, patriotism, etc.
He believes many young men lack a clear code[7:28]
• Scott suggests masculinity can serve as a code when it is described in an aspirational, updated way that channels natural attributes into positive directions

Observations about boys, girls, and the mating market

Differences between boys and girls in adolescence

Scott describes what he sees at his 15-year-old's parties[8:06]
• He says the boys are "dopey" and often can't make eye contact, whereas some of the girls seem like they could be junior senators, reflecting greater poise and maturity among girls
He notes girls are pulling away from boys academically and socially[8:18]
• He mentions that soon there may be roughly two female college graduates for every male graduate, and that lack of economically viable men affects mating opportunities

Economic viability, mating patterns, and what he wants for his sons

Scott explains mating patterns by gender[8:42]
• He says women tend to mate socioeconomically horizontally enough, while men tend to mate horizontally and down, and when the pool of viable males horizontal and up shrinks, there are fewer mating opportunities
He reframes his hopes for his sons[9:10]
• Scott says he used to want them to be economically successful but now primarily wants them to have strong partnerships and children, which still likely requires economic viability for males today

Support from single mothers and reframing masculinity

Scott notes his biggest supporters are single mothers[9:14]
• He describes emails from feminist single mothers who have two thriving daughters and a son in his late 20s living in the basement playing video games and vaping, saying "something's going on" with boys
He says masculinity needs to be seen as positive, not negative[9:46]
• Scott criticizes the "maniverse" for being negative and anti-women, often blaming women and promoting performative, unpleasant versions of masculinity
• He argues that young men currently model themselves on figures like Donald Trump and Elon Musk and that many conflate masculinity with coarseness and cruelty
• He gives an example of cruelty he finds unmasculine: cutting off aid to HIV-positive mothers

Scott's upbringing: single mother, absent father, and early deficits

Self-image and lack of a strong father figure

Kara links the book to Scott's evolution from a "skinny kid"[10:46]
• She says the book is about his life from a skinny kid with acne and average grades to who he is now, and she still sees that kid in him in some ways
Scott describes his mother and her impact[11:18]
• He was raised by a single immigrant mother who lived and died a secretary, and he says he is a 60-year-old man who still hasn't gotten over her death
• He emphasizes that his mother told him implicitly and explicitly that she loved him and that he had worth, which gave him a "fire of confidence" despite not being physically attractive or wealthy

Research on single-parent homes and male vulnerability

Scott contrasts outcomes for boys and girls from single-parent homes[12:19]
• He says the U.S. has the most single-parent homes, and that girls' outcomes are largely the same, but for boys losing a male role model through death, disease, or abandonment dramatically increases the likelihood of incarceration and reduces college graduation odds
He argues boys are emotionally and neurologically weaker than girls[12:55]
• Scott speculates that women may be more resilient because of childbirth, menstruation, or enduring more mistreatment historically, but emphasizes that research shows boys are emotionally and neurologically weaker
He connects his own shortcomings to lack of male mentorship[12:09]
• Scott says he almost didn't go to college, underperformed in sports, lacked kindness and good manners, and had "mediocre character," which he attributes in part to the absence of deep, physical male presence and mentorship

Positive male figures: mom's boyfriend, coaches, and Cy Cerro

Scott recounts being "the second family" of his mom's boyfriend[13:57]
• He says his main male role model was his mom's boyfriend, who had a family in Arizona but visited them every other weekend and was actually very good to him despite the double-life dynamic
Story of learning about stocks from a camp counselor-like figure[13:30]
• At 13, after asking "what's a stock," he was given two $100 bills and told to buy stock, leading him to walk into Merrill Lynch, feel self-conscious, leave, then go to Dean Witter across the street
• A 31-year-old broker named Cy Cerro explained that when more people want to buy than sell, sellers raise the price, and helped Scott buy Columbia Pictures because Scott liked the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"
Cy becomes an informal mentor and sparks Scott's investing habit[15:05]
• For about two years, Scott called Cy daily from a pay phone to ask about his stocks, and Cy would talk with him and explain why the stock went up or down
• Scott says 70-80% of his net worth now comes from investing in stocks and understanding compound interest, a passion he traces back to that relationship at age 13
Reconnecting with Cy decades later[16:22]
• He used the story in class and annually tasked students with finding Cy; about 12 years ago, a student found Cy via Facebook, now retired and running a fur store in Stockton, and Scott still texts with him monthly

Call for men to mentor boys despite social taboos

Scott argues there's a damaging taboo around men mentoring boys[17:02]
• He cites abuse scandals such as the Catholic Church and Michael Jackson as contributing to men's reticence to get involved in boys' lives because they fear suspicion or stigma
He insists it's easy for good men to add value as mentors[17:36]
• Because boys often make very poor decisions unaided, Scott argues it is "super easy" for an adult man to ask a few questions and redirect them, giving the example of a mentee who wanted to move to Alaska after watching a TV program
• He notes many potential mentors undervalue themselves because they are not CEOs or very successful, but says that is not necessary to provide meaningful guidance

Scott's angle versus academic experts on boys and men

Positioning himself relative to researchers

Kara notes Scott is not trained as a therapist or social scientist on this topic[18:16]
• She mentions social scientist Richard Reeves, whom Scott calls his Yoda, and social psychologist Jonathan Haidt as people with formal expertise who have written on these issues
Scott explains what he brings to the conversation[18:46]
• He says he contributes transparency about where he got things wrong and what he learned, offering best and worst practices from his own life for boys to relate to
• He also notes that he does a lot of research and draws from experts "who actually know what they're talking about"

Money, childhood scarcity, and the drive to provide

Experiencing poverty as a child

Scott says people with money can't fully empathize with not having it[21:23]
• He describes one of the worst days of his childhood as losing his second jacket in a week when they could not afford the $30 to replace it, fearing his struggling mother's reaction

Mother's illness and motivation to get his act together

Scott recounts his mother's mastectomy and inadequate discharge[22:43]
• As a first-year business school student, he came home to find his mother violently ill after an early hospital discharge; he was advised to hire a nurse at $35/hour but had only about $400 in his account
The episode galvanized his focus on earning money[23:40]
• Feeling he couldn't protect and care for his vulnerable mother, Scott says he had been "sleepwalking through life" up to that point, and this crisis made him focus on getting his "shit together" and making money

Losing everything in 2008 and the birth of his son

He describes over-leveraging in the dot-com era and the 2008 crash[23:52]
• Encouraged by VCs and the culture to be "all in," he borrowed against his stock in RedEnvelope and lost everything when 2008 hit
His emotional reaction when his first son was born[24:14]
• He says he did not feel angels and bright lights, but rather fear and shame that he had failed as a man by not being in a stable financial position for his new child and partner
• He worked around the clock for five to ten years afterward, acknowledging that this came at the cost of time with his young children, but argues it was worth it given how the world works

The three-legged stool of masculinity: provide, protect, procreate

Providing as an obligation and its trade-offs

Scott frames being a provider as the first leg of the stool[26:15]
• He believes every young man should assume economic responsibility for his household, but clarifies that sometimes this means supporting a more economically capable partner and "getting out of the way"
He notes changing gender economics and lagging domestic contributions[26:39]
• Women's economic contributions are accelerating as they attend college at higher rates, but men's domestic and logistical contributions have not kept pace
• He cites data that when women start making more money than men, use of ED drugs by men triples and the likelihood of divorce doubles, suggesting persistent expectations that men be primary providers

Protection and the feeling of peace

Scott identifies protection as the source of his deepest satisfaction[27:47]
• He says the only time he's felt truly sated is late at night when his kids are asleep (or crawl into his bed), his partner feels safe and protected, and he feels his role as protector "has worked"
He broadens protection beyond physicality[27:47]
• He argues that protection includes being emotionally supportive, noticing his family's lives, and using his skills and strength to create security

Redefining protection: noticing and supporting partners

Scott critiques the trope of the "sensitive man"[28:03]
• He jokes that two sensitive people just leave both crying in a car while trying to parallel park, suggesting sensitivity alone is insufficient without responsibility and action
He emphasizes noticing a partner's life as core to masculinity[28:40]
• He says men should understand that their partners need stages where strangers clap for them, should care about what is important to their partners, and recognize the difficulty of working while raising children
• Scott points out that women almost always take on a disproportionate amount of childrearing, such as hearing the kid get up at night when men sleep through it

Procreation, attraction, and channeling male desire

Mixed messages about men initiating and fear of being "creeps"

Scott highlights a disconnect between what women say and men's behavior[31:17]
• He notes that about 80% of women say they want men to initiate romantic contact, yet many women complain men never approach them in bars or social situations
He attributes part of the problem to male fear of reputational damage[31:05]
• He gives an example of a man at a bar who might approach a woman who happens to be one of 300,000 employees at JPMorgan; if he is drunk and says something stupid, he can be labeled "that creep"

Re-embracing horniness as an engine for self-improvement

Scott says society needs to re-embrace young men's horniness[31:41]
• He compares sexual desire to fire: dangerous if used for porn and objectification, but powerful if channeled into motivation to dress better, smell better, have a plan, and develop kindness
He outlines three main reasons women are attracted to men[33:41]
• First, they signal resources, which can mean simply showing discipline and not buying another bottle of vodka at 2am because they have work the next morning
• Second, they demonstrate intelligence, which historically benefits the tribe; he says humor is the fastest way to communicate intelligence, and that his early dating success came only from women he could make laugh
• Third, and described as the "secret weapon," is kindness, because women instinctively know they are smaller and will go through gestation periods where they will need someone kind

Kindness as a masculine "secret weapon" and gender norms

Expert question from Michelle Wolfe

Michelle Wolfe asks why men can't find things[34:11]
• She refers to Scott's statement that kindness is a man's secret weapon, notes kindness should be basic, and humorously asks why men can't find anything from phone chargers to things in the fridge to their emotions

Scott's reaction to Michelle Wolfe

He becomes emotional and expresses admiration for her[34:51]
• Scott calls Michelle Wolfe his favorite comedian and says he has been trying unsuccessfully to contact her, praising Kara for managing to get her question

Kindness practice and teaching manners

Scott jokes about male absent-mindedness and then pivots to kindness[34:46]
• He jokes that if his genitals weren't attached, someone would find them on a card table next to a script of "Goodfellas" in Soho, and admits he frequently loses keys and sunglasses
He describes developing a kindness practice[35:47]
• Scott says kindness starts with manners, such as never pouring your own water first and always looking around the table to pour for others
• He recounts teaching this to his 11-year-old son in London, who misunderstood and took a large water pitcher to another table to fill strangers' glasses, thinking that was expected
He admits kindness did not come naturally to him[36:47]
• Scott says he did not grow up with many role models of kindness and does not believe he is innately kind, so he practices daily acts of kindness until they become "muscle memory"

Gender expectations around kindness and leadership

Kara asks if women are forced to be kind as a survival instinct[37:19]
• Scott responds that many women believe society judges them on nurturing qualities, and notes that harsh women in the workplace are described much more negatively than harsh men
He contrasts reactions to a male versus hypothetical female Steve Jobs[37:28]
• He says a cruel but brilliant male leader like Steve Jobs was viewed as a "genius," and that he can't imagine how a comparable female leader in the 1990s would have been described, implying it would be far worse

Masculinity, politics, and cultural narratives

MAGA, the manosphere, and risk aggression

Kara observes that Trump and MAGA courted young men via the manosphere[40:01]
• She says they offered a coarse, regressive version of masculinity, and notes some recent polling suggests young men are shifting away from that model
Scott explains why that model resonated with young men[40:20]
• He attributes the appeal to risk aggression and willingness to say indelicate things, likening it to men seeing movement in the bushes and grabbing a spear without overthinking
• He notes that the Carnegie Hero Fund gives about 80 awards per year for life-risking heroism, and around 75 go to men, illustrating men's greater propensity for risk and valor

Arguing masculinity is not inherently cruel

Scott distinguishes risk aggression from cruelty[41:48]
• He says some risk aggression can be channeled positively, such as on the battlefield, where men may rush into danger to save comrades, but that conflating masculinity with cruelty is misguided

Reconciling support for boys with ongoing struggles of others

Not a zero-sum game between men and marginalized groups

Kara asks how to address boys' issues without crowding out others[42:20]
• She points out that many feel it's either talking about women and marginalized communities or talking about men, and she worries that if men are angry, "we're all fucked"
Scott insists progress for one group need not harm another[43:23]
• He says gay marriage did not hurt heterosexual marriage and notes ongoing barriers for women, such as earning about 73 cents on the dollar when they choose to use their ovaries, and underinvestment in women's health research

Restoring alliances, especially between men and women

Scott proposes "restoration" as the key theme for leadership[43:22]
• He says a future president should focus on restoring alliances with democratic trading partners, between moderate Republicans and Democrats, and most importantly the alliance between men and women
He calls for conflating masculinity with protection of vulnerable groups[44:02]
• Using the transgender community as an example, he argues that even if one disagrees on issues like bathrooms or sports, the instinct when a community is being weaponized and demonized should be to protect them
• He says true masculinity would mean women feel safe enough to cross the street toward a man rather than away from him, noting that currently many women still cross streets to avoid men

2024 election, failing young men, and role models of masculinity

Young men, mothers, and the 2024 election outcome

Scott claims the election of an insurrectionist president stemmed from struggling young men[45:11]
• He says groups that shifted most from blue to red were Latinos, people under 30 who just wanted change and chaos, and women 45-64, whom he identifies largely as mothers
He suggests many mothers voted based on husbands' and sons' struggles[45:44]
• He argues that when a woman's son is not doing well and her husband is out of work, she prioritizes change over issues like Ukraine or transgender rights

Critique of left and right approaches to masculinity

Scott says the right conflates masculinity with cruelty and coarseness[46:08]
• He believes this is ineffective and incorrect, but also criticizes the left for implying the answer is for men to "act more like a woman," which he also rejects
He offers examples of modern masculine role models[47:41]
• He mentions figures like Van Jones and Barack Obama, as well as Muhammad Ali, as people who are strong, provocative, loving, and principled
• He argues that femininity and masculinity should both be celebrated and that traits we label as masculine or feminine are not confined to people born male or female

Affirming differences while respecting gender diversity

Scott says it's okay to acknowledge gendered tendencies[47:20]
• He claims that 95% of people are binary and find it easier to lean into traits associated with the gender they were born with, while insisting the middle 5% deserve full respect and opportunity
He wants young men told they have obligations and that masculinity is good[48:46]
• He reiterates that young men should embrace obligations to provide, protect, and procreate, to be strong, to make money, to approach women while making them feel safe, and to be patriotic

Policy and structural solutions for boys and young men

School reforms tailored to boys' development

Scott proposes redshirting boys and adjusting schooling[49:31]
• He notes boys are about 18 months behind girls in prefrontal cortex maturity and suggests boys should start kindergarten at six while girls start at five
He calls for more male teachers and fairer discipline[50:18]
• He says only about one in four K-12 teachers are men and argues for greater efforts to recruit male teachers
• He states boys are twice as likely as girls to be suspended for the same behavior and that they may need more physical activity, noting boys-only schools often double recess time
He critiques current school design as suited to girls[50:31]
• He says the behaviors schools reward-sitting still, raising your hand, being organized and a "pleaser"-describe a girl more than a boy under current norms

Expanding vocational education and university capacity

Scott advocates for more vocational programming[51:01]
• He points to stories of 17-year-olds learning auto shop or HVAC installation and earning about $110,000 by age 18, and argues society should stop shaming vocational paths
He urges public universities to offer more nontraditional credentials[51:26]
• He says at least 20% of degrees should be nontraditional certifications, such as nursing or building nuclear power plants, especially in construction-related fields
He criticizes universities as acting like luxury brands[52:31]
• He says universities are public servants, not "fucking Chanel bags," and suggests if a university does not grow freshman class size faster than population growth, it should lose tax-free status
• He notes that 7 to 10 high school valedictorians are girls, and says if admissions were totally blind, some schools might be 70-80% female, which would further disadvantage boys

Tax policy, national service, and third places

Scott criticizes current tax policy as favoring the old over the young[52:09]
• He says tax policy essentially transfers money from young people to old people, worsening conditions for struggling youth
He calls for mandatory national service[53:40]
• He argues many young men and women are not ready for college and would benefit from structured environments where they meet diverse peers, serve their country, and develop greater fidelity to the flag before identifying primarily with special interest groups
He proposes subsidizing "third places" for social connection[54:39]
• He notes that people cannot afford to go to bars and that sports leagues and church groups are closing, leaving fewer venues for young people to meet and form relationships, and suggests policy should incentivize such spaces

Reflections on Scott's father, intergenerational change, and purpose as a father

Assessing his father's shortcomings and improvements

Scott contrasts his father with his abusive grandfather[55:01]
• He recounts that his grandfather would come home drunk, wake his father up, and beat him, so his father grew up without good role models and was pulled out of school at 13 to work as a messenger
He acknowledges his father's efforts despite leaving[56:45]
• Although his father left his mother and made life harder, he also tried: flying Scott to visit, taking him to museums because he thought that's what a father should do, and later becoming very loving
• For the last 20 years of his life, Scott's father ended their calls by saying "I love you"; it took Scott about 10 years to say it back because it felt awkward and late, but he still values it

Recognizing what he inherited from his father

Scott credits his father with his communication talent and risk-taking[57:52]
• He says his father could "hold a room" better than anyone, and that Scott's own exceptional living from communicating likely comes from him, as does the risk aggression to immigrate to America at 19
He acknowledges the importance of his father's decision to emigrate[58:25]
• Scott calls his father's choice to get on a steamship to America the best decision he ever made, noting that being born in San Diego gave Scott opportunities he likely wouldn't have had if born in Glasgow

Avoiding sanctifying or demonizing divorced parents

Scott warns against simplistic narratives about parents after divorce[57:52]
• He says children of divorce tend to sanctify one parent and demonize the other but later realize neither was perfect and the other wasn't Darth Vader

What Scott has learned from his sons about being a man

He says fatherhood finally gave him a clear sense of purpose[56:28]
• He explains that before having sons, his purpose was to become more wealthy, relevant, and "awesome," but now he sees his job as raising loving, patriotic men
He distinguishes being a dad from being a friend[56:16]
• Quoting Michelle Obama, he notes parents sometimes have to "be an asshole" so their kids are not assholes, describing hard conversations with his 15-year-old about respect toward his mother in Scott's absence
He feels his sons' character gives his life meaning and reduces fear of death[57:24]
• Scott says he no longer fears death in the same way because he believes he has meant something by raising sons who are kind, good to their mother, and feel obligated to be good citizens

Closing remarks about the book and Kara's assessment

Kara praises the book and calls Scott a good man[58:37]
• She calls "Notes on Being a Man" a wonderful book and tells Scott he is a good man, while Scott responds that he is blessed to have her and the masculine attributes she brings into his life

Lessons Learned

Actionable insights and wisdom you can apply to your business, career, and personal life.

1

Young people, especially young men, need a clear "code" of values and behaviors to navigate thousands of daily decisions, and if they don't get it from family, religion, or institutions, they may adopt destructive ones from online subcultures.

Reflection Questions:

  • • What implicit or explicit "code" has been guiding your decisions so far, and where did it actually come from?
  • • How might your choices look different if you intentionally defined a short list of principles you want to live by instead of absorbing them passively?
  • • What is one concrete value you could articulate and act on this week to begin shaping your own code rather than inheriting someone else's?
2

Economic viability is a responsibility, not an identity: building the capacity to provide gives you options and peace, but it should ultimately serve relationships, caregiving, and protection rather than endless status-chasing.

Reflection Questions:

  • • In what ways are you currently treating money and career as ends in themselves instead of means to support the people and causes you care about?
  • • How would your work priorities shift if you defined success as "being able to protect and support my loved ones" rather than maximizing income or prestige?
  • • What is one financial or career decision you could make in the next month that would move you toward long-term stability for yourself and those who depend on you?
3

Kindness and manners are not soft extras; they are trainable habits that become a powerful advantage in relationships, leadership, and attraction when practiced deliberately.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Where in your daily routine do you consistently miss opportunities to show small acts of kindness, especially to people who can't reciprocate?
  • • How might your personal and professional relationships change if you treated kindness and good manners as skills to practice, not traits you're born with or without?
  • • What is one specific kindness practice (for example, always pouring others' water first or sending regular check-in messages) you can commit to for the next 30 days?
4

Male risk-taking and desire are double-edged: when left unchanneled they can lead to self-destruction or cruelty, but when purposefully directed they can fuel courage, skill development, and meaningful contribution.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Where do you currently express your appetite for risk or intensity in ways that are more impulsive than intentional?
  • • How could you redirect that same energy into projects, training, or service that benefit you and others instead of merely seeking thrills or escape?
  • • What is one risky impulse you can pause on this week and instead convert into a calculated, constructive action with a clear upside and contained downside?
5

Mentorship and intergenerational support are critical for boys and young men, and you don't need to be a superstar to make a big difference-showing up, asking basic questions, and sharing simple lessons can dramatically alter someone's trajectory.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Who in your life (a younger sibling, colleague, neighbor, or student) might benefit from a bit more consistent attention and guidance from you?
  • • How might your own growth accelerate if you saw yourself not just as someone seeking mentors, but also as someone capable of being a mentor right now?
  • • What is one small, specific mentoring action you could take this week-like a check-in call, a shared article, or a candid conversation about a decision-they're facing?
6

Systems matter as much as individual effort: if schools, tax policy, and community spaces are structured in ways that disadvantage young men (and others), no amount of private advice can fully compensate, so we need to think in terms of institutional reform as well as personal change.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Where have you been blaming individual shortcomings (yours or others') for problems that are at least partly the result of how systems and incentives are set up?
  • • How could you engage, even in a small way, with institutions you touch-like schools, workplaces, or local governments-to advocate for changes that support healthier development and connection?
  • • What is one concrete structural issue you see around you (for example, lack of third places, phone-saturated classrooms, or narrow college pathways) and one realistic step you could take to help improve it?

Episode Summary - Notes by Alex

Why Scott Galloway Wants Us To Celebrate Masculinity, Not Diminish It | On With Kara Swisher
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