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TED Talks Daily

How to build your confidence - and spark it in others | Brittany Packnett Cunningham (re-release)

with Brittany Packnett Cunningham

Published November 1, 2025
View Show Notes

About This Episode

Host Elise Hu introduces a 2019 TED Talk by educator and activist Brittany Packnett Cunningham on the nature and power of confidence. Drawing on stories from her childhood, her classroom, women rangers in Kenya, and her own career, Brittany argues that confidence is a critical engine for turning ideas into action and pursuing justice. She outlines three elements that "crack the code" of what she calls revolutionary confidence: permission, community, and curiosity.

Topics Covered

Confidence Personal Development Education system Identity Race relations Feminism Leadership and management Community building Curiosity Resilience

Disclaimer: We provide independent summaries of podcasts and are not affiliated with or endorsed in any way by any podcast or creator. All podcast names and content are the property of their respective owners. The views and opinions expressed within the podcasts belong solely to the original hosts and guests and do not reflect the views or positions of Summapod.

Quick Takeaways

  • Brittany Packnett Cunningham argues that confidence is a must-have engine for action, not a soft, optional trait.
  • She illustrates how early role models, like activist Septima Clark and her own mother, gave her implicit permission to be confident.
  • In her classroom, Brittany saw firsthand how nurturing or damaging confidence can profoundly affect students like Jamal and Regina.
  • She emphasizes that society makes it easier for some people to develop confidence based on preferred leadership archetypes, while punishing it in others.
  • Brittany proposes that confidence is built through three elements: permission, community, and curiosity.
  • Community support, such as the sisterhood among Maasai rangers in Kenya, can restore confidence when individuals feel fear or doubt.
  • Curious, nonjudgmental questions from leaders can help people learn from mistakes without destroying their self-belief.
  • She envisions a just world where revolutionary confidence in marginalized people is recognized as key to achieving freedom and equity for all.

Podcast Notes

Podcast introduction and framing of the topic of confidence

Host introduces TED Talks Daily and the theme of the episode

Elise Hu describes TED Talks Daily as bringing new ideas to spark curiosity every day[2:02]
She references the familiar phrase "fake it till you make it" as a common response to doubt or struggle[2:12]
• She explains that the phrase means acting with confidence even when you do not initially feel it, in hopes it becomes reality
Elise poses the question of how we actually find the confidence to act in the first place[2:23]

Introduction of Brittany Packnett Cunningham and the 2019 talk

Elise introduces educator and activist Brittany Packnett Cunningham[2:28]
• She notes that the talk is an archive talk from 2019
Elise says Brittany will share three ways to crack the code of finding, developing, and embodying "revolutionary confidence"[2:31]
• This confidence is framed as necessary to turn ambitious dreams into reality

Brittany's childhood image of confidence: Septima Clark and the living room book

Description of the special living room and the book "I Dream a World"

As a little girl, Brittany recalls a book on the coffee table just steps from the front door[2:51]
• The living room had white carpet and a curio of her mother's treasured collectibles and represented sacrifices of previous generations who could not afford such things
The room had to stay perfect, but Brittany would risk disturbing it daily to look at the book[3:15]
The book on the coffee table was titled "I Dream a World"[5:08]

Portrait of Septima Clark as an early model of confidence

On the book cover was activist and educator Septima Clark sitting in profile with her face raised to the sky[3:42]
• Brittany describes Septima Clark's salt-and-pepper cornrows and the pride and wisdom emanating from her dark skin
Brittany later modeled her own career after Septima Clark[3:53]
She says that more than any words Clark spoke, that single portrait defined confidence for her before she knew the word[3:49]

Defining confidence and arguing for its importance

Confidence as an underestimated necessity, not a soft extra

Brittany says confidence may sound simple but is underestimated in its importance[4:00]
She argues we treat confidence as a nice-to-have instead of a must-have[4:07]
She notes that we value knowledge and resources more than what we consider the soft skill of confidence[4:10]
• By most measures, she says, we have more knowledge and resources now than at any other point in history yet injustice and challenges persist
She concludes that if knowledge and resources were sufficient, we would not still be facing these issues[4:29]
Brittany believes confidence is one of the main missing pieces in the equation[4:35]

Brittany's personal relationship with confidence

She calls herself completely obsessed with confidence and says it has been the most important journey of her life[4:39]
She openly notes that this is a journey she is still on[4:45]
Brittany describes confidence as the necessary spark before everything that follows[4:48]
• She says confidence is the difference between being inspired and actually getting started
• She adds that it is the difference between trying and doing until something is done
Confidence helps people keep going even when they have failed[5:04]

Vision of "revolutionary confidence"

Brittany says the book title "I Dream a World" connects to her vision of a world where revolutionary confidence makes ambitious dreams real[5:13]
She explicitly states she dreams a world where revolutionary confidence brings ambitious dreams into reality[5:18]

Teaching experience and building confidence in students

Creating a classroom of "pure imagination" grounded in confidence

Brittany wanted to create a classroom like a "Willy Wonka world of pure imagination" but scholarly[5:28]
All of her students were Black or brown and grew up in low-income circumstances[5:32]
• Some of her students were immigrants and some were disabled
She emphasizes that her students were among the last people the world invites to be confident[5:47]
Therefore, she felt it was crucial that her classroom be a place where students could build the muscle of confidence[5:53]
• She wanted them to learn to face each day with the confidence needed to redesign the world in the image of their own dreams
She questions the value of academic skills without the confidence to use them to change the world[6:07]

Introduction of students Jamal and Regina as case studies

Brittany decides to share stories of two students, Jamal and Regina, noting she has changed their names but not their stories[6:16]

Case study 1: Jamal's journey to expressing confidence

Jamal's behavior and Brittany's approach

Jamal is described as brilliant but unfocused, squirming in his chair during independent work[6:19]
He could not stay still for more than a few minutes, which can perplex new teachers[6:26]
• Brittany notes that teachers may not know how to support students like him
She took a direct approach and negotiated with him: if he could focus, he could work from anywhere in the classroom[6:37]
• Work locations included the classroom rug, behind her desk, or inside his classroom locker, which became his favorite place
Jamal's least favorite subject was writing, and he never wanted to read what he wrote out loud[6:55]

The mock 2008 presidential election assignment

Brittany hosted a mock 2008 presidential election in her third-grade classroom[7:05]
Students had to research and write a stump speech for Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, or John McCain[7:13]
• She notes the heavy favorites were obvious among those candidates
One student chose John McCain: Jamal[7:19]
Jamal finally decided to read something he had written out loud in class for this assignment[7:25]

Jamal's speech and the class reaction

Jamal stunned the class with his brilliance when he delivered his speech[7:29]
He explained that like John McCain, his father was a veteran, and like his father protected him, he believed McCain would protect the entire country[7:32]
• Brittany notes McCain was not her candidate of choice, but that did not matter in that moment
The class erupted into applause and gave Jamal a standing ovation[7:50]
Brittany describes this as Jamal finally showing up as his most confident self for the first time that year[7:56]

Case study 2: Regina and the potential harm of suppressing confidence

Regina's behavior and Brittany's struggle between compliance and confidence

Regina is described as equally brilliant but active, often finishing work early and then distracting others[8:01]
• Her distractions included walking, talking, and passing notes
Despite Brittany's ideals about the classroom, she sometimes defaulted to choosing compliance over confidence[8:17]
She calls Regina a glitch in her intended system[8:29]
Brittany says a good teacher can correct misbehavior and still be a student's champion[8:33]
On one particular day, Brittany admits she chose control and "snapped" at Regina[8:39]

Consequences of Brittany's reaction to Regina

Her approach did not just communicate that Regina's actions were a distraction; it suggested Regina herself was a distraction[8:44]
Brittany recalls watching the light go out of Regina's eyes, a light that had sparked joy in the classroom[8:58]
After this, the entire class became irritable and did not recover for the rest of the day[9:03]
Brittany reflects that she has prayed she did not do irreparable harm to Regina[9:14]
• As a woman who used to be a little girl like Regina, she fears she could have started the process of killing Regina's confidence forever

The impact of lacking or misaligned confidence in individuals and society

How lack of confidence traps people

Brittany says a lack of confidence pulls people down from the bottom and weighs them down from the top[9:27]
She describes people being crushed between a flurry of "can'ts," "won'ts," and "impossibles"[8:47]
Without confidence, people get stuck and cannot even get started[9:38]
Instead of getting mired in what can get in the way, confidence invites people to perform with certainty[9:48]
• She contrasts operating when you are sure you can with merely hoping you will

Calibrating goals and confidence

Brittany suggests that if you lack confidence, it may be a sign to readjust your goal[10:01]
If you have too much confidence, it may indicate you are not rooted in something real[10:06]

Unequal access to confidence and its revolutionary nature

She states that not everyone lacks confidence; society makes it easier for some to gain it because they fit preferred archetypes of leadership[10:09]
Society rewards confidence in some people and punishes it in others[10:15]
She notes that many people walk around each day without confidence[10:29]
For some, she says, confidence is a revolutionary choice[10:32]
She argues it would be a great shame if the best ideas and brightest dreams go unrealized because people lacked the engine of confidence[10:41]

Introducing the "code" of confidence: permission, community, and curiosity

Three elements that build confidence

Brittany asks how we crack the code on confidence and proposes three things: permission, community, and curiosity[10:55]
She summarizes their roles: permission births confidence, community nurtures it, and curiosity affirms it[10:59]

The idea that "you can't be what you can't see"

She cites a saying in education: "you can't be what you can't see"[11:10]
As a child, she could not show confidence until someone modeled it[11:17]

Permission through role modeling: Brittany's mother at the car dealership

Family car-buying ritual and gendered assumptions

Brittany recalls that her family did everything together, including buying a new car[11:19]
At dealerships, her father would sit while her mother shopped for cars[11:32]
When a car was chosen, they would meet with the dealer, who inevitably turned his attention and body to her father[11:40]
• Dealers assumed her father controlled the purse strings and the negotiation
Dealers would address her father as "Reverend Packnett" and ask how they could get him into the car[11:53]

Her father's gesture and her mother's confident negotiation

Her father would respond by silently gesturing toward her mother and then putting his hands back in his lap[12:02]
Brittany suggests dealers may have been shocked to negotiate finances with a Black woman in the 1980s[12:12]
She watched her mother work the car dealers until they were almost giving the car away[12:19]
• Her mother never cracked a smile and was never afraid to walk away from the deal

What Brittany's mother unknowingly gave her

Brittany says her mother thought she was just getting a good deal on a minivan[12:30]
In reality, her mother was giving Brittany permission to defy expectations[12:35]
She was also giving Brittany permission to show up confidently in her skill, no matter who doubted her[12:39]
Brittany concludes that confidence needs permission to exist[12:43]

Community as the nurturer of confidence: Team Lioness in Kenya

Visiting Kenya and meeting Maasai women rangers

Brittany traveled to Kenya to learn about women's empowerment among Maasai women[12:54]
She met a group of young women called Team Lioness, among Kenya's first all-female community ranger groups[13:00]
These eight young women were making history as teenagers[13:04]

Purity's response about fear and sisterhood

Brittany asked Purity, the most talkative ranger, if she ever got scared[13:10]
Purity replied that of course she gets scared, but she calls on her sisters[13:10]
Purity said her sisters remind her that they will be better than the men and that they will not fail[13:25]
Brittany says she wanted to tattoo Purity's response over her entire body because of its power[13:17]

How community props up confidence

Brittany explains that Purity's confidence to chase lions and catch poachers did not come solely from athletic ability or faith[13:31]
Purity's confidence was supported by sisterhood and community[12:47]
Brittany interprets Purity's meaning as: if she ever doubts, she needs her sisters to restore her hope and rebuild her sense of self[13:51]
She concludes that in community, she can find her confidence[13:55]

Curiosity as affirmation of confidence: feedback after failure

A failed event early in Brittany's career

Earlier in her career, Brittany led a large-scale event that went badly[14:03]
She jokes that it was not just imperfect but "terrible"[13:37]
She expected her manager to list every mistake she had ever made when they debriefed[14:17]

Her manager's curious question and its effect

Instead of criticizing, her manager opened the debrief by asking, "What was your intention?"[14:11]
Brittany was surprised but relieved by this question[14:26]
She believes her manager knew she was already beating herself up[14:29]
The manager's question invited Brittany to learn from her own mistakes instead of damaging her fragile confidence[14:33]
Brittany states that curiosity invites people to be in charge of their own learning[14:41]
She says that this exchange helped her approach her next project expecting success[14:46]

Closing vision: confidence as key to a just and liberated world

Confidence as a tool to solve great challenges

Brittany reiterates that permission, community, and curiosity are needed to breed the confidence required to solve major challenges[13:55]
She wants a world where inequity is ended and justice is real[15:08]

Freedom, leadership archetypes, and revolutionary confidence

She envisions a world where people are free on the outside and inside, recognizing that none are free until all are free[15:14]
She imagines a world that is not intimidated when truth appears as a woman, in Black skin, or in any form outside preferred leadership archetypes[15:25]
She argues that this kind of confidence is the key needed to unlock the future people want[15:32]

Brittany's final affirmation

Brittany declares she has enough confidence to believe that this envisioned world will come to pass[15:40]
She believes that "we" are the ones who will make it so[15:46]

Host outro and credits

Identification of the speaker and talk context

Elise Hu identifies the speaker as Brittany Packnett Cunningham speaking at TED 2019[15:55]
She notes that the talk was originally posted in May 2019[16:02]

Brief mention of TED curation and production credits

Elise mentions that listeners curious about TED's curation can find more information at ted.com/curationguidelines[16:09]
She states that TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective[16:14]
Elise lists members of the TED team involved in fact-checking, production, editing, mixing, and support[16:17]
Elise closes by saying she will be back tomorrow with another idea and thanks listeners for listening[16:35]

Lessons Learned

Actionable insights and wisdom you can apply to your business, career, and personal life.

1

Confidence is not a soft extra but the necessary spark that turns inspiration into action and helps you persist through failure.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Where in your life are you feeling inspired but not actually taking steps because you doubt yourself?
  • • How might treating confidence as a must-have ingredient, rather than a bonus, change the way you approach a current goal?
  • • What is one small action you can take this week that would strengthen your confidence by moving from thinking to doing?
2

Permission often comes from visible role models; seeing someone like you act confidently in a space gives you psychological license to do the same.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Who in your life or community models the kind of grounded confidence you want to embody, and what specifically do they do?
  • • How could you more intentionally expose yourself to examples of people who defy expectations in ways that matter to you?
  • • In what situation this week could you quietly act as a "permission giver" for someone else by modeling confident behavior?
3

Community and supportive relationships can restore your confidence when you feel fear or doubt, reminding you of your capabilities and purpose.

Reflection Questions:

  • • When you feel most discouraged or afraid, who do you currently turn to, and how effectively do they help rebuild your confidence?
  • • How might you strengthen or seek out communities that affirm your strengths and remind you what you are capable of?
  • • What is one concrete step you could take in the next few days to either lean on your community more or to be that supportive voice for someone else?
4

Curiosity-based feedback-asking about intentions and lessons rather than attacking mistakes-helps people learn while preserving and affirming their confidence.

Reflection Questions:

  • • How do you typically talk to yourself or others after a failure: with judgment or with curious questions about what was intended and learned?
  • • In what current challenge could you replace self-criticism with a question like "What was my intention and what can I learn from this?"
  • • What is one conversation this week where you could choose curious, open-ended questions instead of immediate criticism or advice?
5

In positions of authority, choosing to nurture confidence rather than just enforce compliance can profoundly shape how others see themselves and their potential.

Reflection Questions:

  • • Where in your role as a parent, teacher, manager, or friend do you tend to default to control instead of supporting someone's confidence?
  • • How could you respond differently the next time someone "disrupts" your expectations so that you correct behavior without attacking their sense of self?
  • • What is one practical change you can make in your feedback or discipline style this week to prioritize preserving and building others' confidence?

Episode Summary - Notes by Quinn

How to build your confidence - and spark it in others | Brittany Packnett Cunningham (re-release)
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